Updates, new rules and anything else you need to know about the forum.
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Bang Your Drum
serial addict
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Joined: Tue 1st May 2007
Location: Penn's Forrest


Post by Bang Your Drum » Sun 8th Jan 2012

Hi all,
It's come to light that there are messages in the "vent here" topic related to other members. Now it's good to realize you can't be friends with everyone, but venting or posting negative things about other members is unacceptable. It not only counts as flaming, which can have you banned, but it can be hurtful to the person being vented about on a personal level. FG is meant to be a safe place for everyone, but it can't be if members are being attacked in "vent" posts.
If you have a conflict with another user, PM me (Bang Your Drum) and I will help with your conflict.

Bang Your Drum, the other admin, and the mod team.
Moses Seixas wrote:give bigotry no sanction

Centaur Genius
Posts: 1558
Joined: Fri 3rd Jun 2011
Gender: Female

Re: Venting

Post by BoboParadizo » Tue 21st Feb 2012

Wow. Over a thousand views, and nobody's posted. x3

I absolutely agree. FG should be a safe place, and I won't vent negative things about other members...

But I guess if you really needed to vent, you could be extremely vague. No specific names or events or ANYTHING to indicate who it is. Just my opinion, though.

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Fangathering Fever patient
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Re: Venting

Post by Cabaline » Tue 13th Oct 2020

Hello one and all! In line with the refresh that the server has been getting, we wanted to update the information around venting and provide you with some resources that will hopefully be able to help you when times are trying or tough! :heart:
  • This master resource sheet is amazing! - It has a list of hotlines/crisis lines and further resources sorted by country, a list of specific advice relating to a multitude of different conditions or issues you may be experiencing. This thread also signposts areas you can go for more general life advice.
  • This assisted breathing gif - can help you get your physical responses under control and calm you enough to start processing or venting! Just breathe in and out in time with the expanding/contracting shapes.
  • This feels wheel - will help you start your post. If you are unsure of how to verbalise what you feel, check in with the feels wheel! Once you understand better exactly how you are feeling, it will hopefully help you realise what caused it or how to make it better!
  • The anxiety equation - is here to help you understand your anxiety and why you might be feeling anxious! You rate the bottom and top of the equation out of 10 based on how you are feeling, and then divide. If you get a number is greater than 1 your anxiety is well founded and you can work on finding a solution to help make this number smaller. If it is less than one your anxiety is unfounded and you can move on to tackling your anxious feelings by reminding yourself of your coping mechanisms.
  • Try the self-care game - (PG language) after you have made your post to focus on the self-care that you can do in the immediate moment, to help you look after yourself in the present. If you are not well practiced at self-care, this is a great game to help you teach yourself how to self-care and to get you into good habits.
  • Try this famous advice - when you have moved past the immediate moment and you are ready to reflect and start thinking about the future and how to move on from the now. Thinking of 'Non-Zero Days' is a great way to start shifting a mindset with just tiny changes!
  • These SMART goals - are perfect for when you have decided how you want to proceed and move on from this event, but aren't sure how to apply any advice or any changes. Breaking things down into these manageable steps, helps you to see your own thinking and decide what you want and why you want it!
  • The internet has a cat - is great for if you are feeling alone! It's a website that simulates the sound and feeling of a cat purring. You can adjust options like how sleepy the cat sounds, how close it sounds, and how much meowing is interspersed. It can help immensely with anxiety, if that's something you need!
Lastly, and very importantly, this is a safe space for you to share your feelings and express yourself in a way that feels comfortable for you.
Sometimes the way we express our pain, can be triggering for people so if you are posting any content that might trigger others: e.g. (TW: everything) self-harm or suicide references, references to any form of excessive violence (including sexual assault), mentions of eating disorders, slurs, drug or alcohol abuse can you please include a trigger warning before your message, as I did above (TW: *example*) and can you please put the triggering text inside a spoiler tag.

To make a spoiler tag, click/tap the 'spoiler' button above the textbox, and you will get a pair of tags that look like this:

Code: Select all

[spoiler] *** [/spoiler]
And type your triggering content between the pair of tags, where I have typed stars.

One other thing to keep in mind is this: if (TW) self harm is on your mind, that in itself can be a sign that it's time to reach out to someone. Suicide ideation - thoughts about suicide, whether intended jokingly or otherwise - is a symptom of depression. We hope that taking the extra step of acknowledging that thought with a TW and the spoiler tag might help someone to take a moment to evaluate the fact that those thoughts are there, and encourage them to reach out to someone or use one of the above resources. This does not mean we discourage posting whatever thoughts you have, of course - only that we want to make sure you're all looking after yourselves and your health in a conscious way.

Remember, we will always welcome your venting here and this is a safe space for you. Do not hesitate to reach out for help :heart:
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