VENT HERE!!!

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artymon I\/
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by artymon I\/ » Sun 25th Nov 2018

Why, just....why?

[train of thought too fast to follow]

I suppose if it wasn't one thing, it'd be another.

Ultimately, it accumulates to the same conclusion,

"We've gotta get outta this place"

(Not this place, to be clear.)

>>

<<

I dunno if this is the place for this next part, but hey, this is a venting thread and in general I thought we're something of a makeshift support group, so you'll forgive me...

Started re-reading the first AF book, not intentionally, I didn't just decide to, I mean, I did, but it was more of an I'm at the bookstore and need to kill twenty minutes, lemme find something to read, heeey, Artemis!"

It took me back a bit, that tongue in cheek tone, the smart dialogue. That's writer goals there. I'm not sure if I can describe it, but it's like you and Eoin are in on the secret....like you're watching a movie with a friend and commenting on different parts (tasteful commenting, no unnecessary blathering). It's not just scene, setting, character, you're getting a tone with the story, you're getting a little more. Now, yes, there are those who say every piece of literature, even a grocery list, has a voice.
(For example, a list consisting of meats suggests a carnivore, one of vegetables a vegetarian, one of candy means your list has been hijacked by your child and you'd better run for it.)
But sometimes the voice isn't as obvious as that. Nor sometimes is it as pleasant. Course then that raises the question, if you're not enjoying the voice/story, why read it?

Anyway....I'm out
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Amber Root
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by Amber Root » Fri 30th Nov 2018

Why is there always something going on??
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by artymon I\/ » Thu 20th Dec 2018

A vent of pettiness born of a lack of activity to keep me otherwise engaged.

Roxy: You mean to avoid keeping up on the stories?

Well....

>>

<<

Back in the day, it seems there was the big peer pressure on drinking. "C'mon on, man, have a drink." "Uh...nah, that's okay." "HAVE A DRINK AND TAKE A TOKE, BRO." etc.

Now, it feels like we've done a one eighty of sorts. I've been noticing a number of people that, when casually mentioned about having a drink (male and female), they adamantly profess that "They don't drink."

Now, to be clear, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Totally cool. Captain Hook himself has said drunkenness leads to bad form. (There's another other logic of thought on drinking too*)

It's the tone more than anything. They say they don't drink like they look down on you for even thinking it. Most days, I don't consider myself much of a big drinker, trust me, drunk /\rty is not a fun /\rty...or maybe he is. He's fun until he starts vomiting.

But that's no reason to instantly judge. If I say to someone, "Hey, wanna grab a drink later?" that doesn't necessarily mean, "LET ME FORCE PURE ALCOHOL DOWN YOUR THROAT, PURITAN."

We don't even have to drink at all ;)

Roxy: *snickers and covers face* Oh cherie...coy flirtation is not your strongest suit.

And what, pray tell, is my strongest suit?

Roxy: *a sly cat's grin slinks across and a sultry shadow arches her eyes* I could tell you...or show you.

Fill-In: *eating popcorn with Joey and Quacksalot* Now THAT'S how you do it.

Ahem...but back on point, a drink is more an invitation for a social element. Or at least, that's how I've always viewed it. Whether it's coffee or alcohol being offered. I don't drink coffee, but it's not like I judge all those worshippers of the bean. (Well...maybe just a tad.)

Any thoughts?


*Irish proverb: When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So let us all get drunk and go to heaven.
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by Josephine Fowl » Thu 20th Dec 2018

i'm stressed about my exams, i'm on my period, and i think i'm just generally getting sick, it's just not ideal for this time of year, oh well

--

what's up it's several weeks later and i still feel like garbage, especially about this stupid history exam that i thought i was properly prepared for, but now that's it's here i can barely even string a sentence together and much less hit the expected 5 pages - i hope my teacher won't be too disappointed in me
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by artymon I\/ » Mon 7th Jan 2019

Well let's see what lovely fruits today brings...

This just...isn't what I want.
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by HollyShort9 » Thu 31st Jan 2019

I miss my dad and I hate acting like everything's normal when it's not.
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we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.

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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by artymon I\/ » Tue 5th Mar 2019

^*hugs*

Had a horrible thing happen at work today...a student pilot died. Part of me is sad, part of me feels guilty...and part of me wants to crack a joke and ask if she was wearing her safety vest.

She was a really nice student, great chick...part of me is guilty. I issued her the plane. I ultimately let her out the door to fly. I didn't necessarily approve the weather or the flight route or any of that - that's on Ops....but still, if I'd known....maybe I should....

Essentially what happened is, she she took off, the weather closed in on her and she got trapped above the clouds...wandered around, trying to find a hole to get back down...failing that, she essentially wandered, ran out of fuel, and crashed.

This shouldn't have happened...she could have called in, we would have helped her...

In my five going on six years at the school, that's the first time something like this has happened...

*cough*there'salsotheselfishparanoidpartofmethatwondersifi'llsomehowgetfired*cough*
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by Amber Root » Wed 6th Mar 2019

I hate my job
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by artymon I\/ » Wed 6th Mar 2019

^I empathize with you.

I swear, this place could burn to the ground and they'd still want us to come in and guard the pieces from being pillaged.
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by HollyShort9 » Mon 11th Mar 2019

artymon I\/ wrote:
Tue 5th Mar 2019
^*hugs*

Had a horrible thing happen at work today...a student pilot died. Part of me is sad, part of me feels guilty...and part of me wants to crack a joke and ask if she was wearing her safety vest.

She was a really nice student, great chick...part of me is guilty. I issued her the plane. I ultimately let her out the door to fly. I didn't necessarily approve the weather or the flight route or any of that - that's on Ops....but still, if I'd known....maybe I should....

Essentially what happened is, she she took off, the weather closed in on her and she got trapped above the clouds...wandered around, trying to find a hole to get back down...failing that, she essentially wandered, ran out of fuel, and crashed.

This shouldn't have happened...she could have called in, we would have helped her...

In my five going on six years at the school, that's the first time something like this has happened...

*cough*there'salsotheselfishparanoidpartofmethatwondersifi'llsomehowgetfired*cough*
Should've, would've, could've, and "what if" thoughts will destroy you. You did your job to the best of your ability, and there was nothing more that was your responsibility. It is definitely tragic, but a good way to honor her would be to allow yourself some grace.
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by Josephine Fowl » Mon 1st Apr 2019

we're in mid-term season and for the first time we actually have midterms that count towards the final grade for the class - and if you fail them, you fail the course, meaning you will have to re-do both the mid-term and the exam itself when re-exam season comes around

i find this a very silly way of handling grades - if you want to make the mid-term half the grade, you can't just say that if you fail it, you fail the course. that's not how it works. it would just pull down your grade really far.
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by artymon I\/ » Fri 5th Apr 2019

@HS9 *hugs* Thank you

>>
<<

I feel a bit like I'm striking out in life. There's a couple things that feels like...just nothing has gone right. Ultimately, yes, they all were situations somewhat out of my control, but that's just it, only somewhat.

A lot of this might sound petty or stupid...basically in one sense, last week I had an opportunity, a potential opportunity to do something big. Something I've been thinking about and writing about for ages...but I hesitated. Then when I finally made a decision, it was too late. I lost the opportunity and now Summer is with some Canadian.

My publisher and I seem to be having some sort of miscommunication as well. The whole situation there irks me. I feel like a jerk if I complain that it's not right...but it's not, and I told you that, and I'm also paying you to. But it feels like a lost cause.

Then there's this other stupid thing...again, had I been granted foresight, I could have acted differently and saved a friend from an abysmal fate.

I know, coulda, woulda, shoulda.

It's...more than losing the friend though. It's like....not even being stabbed in the back. I've already been stabbed and now the perpetrator just twisted the handle.

*continues to grumble and rumble amok*

Still, times like these, at least there's one constant, good ol' Uncharted.
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by Amber Root » Fri 5th Apr 2019

Please do not speak to me like I am stupid - I know more then what I let you believe.
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by Josephine Fowl » Sat 13th Apr 2019

mid-terms are still going but now we also have the onset of the early allergy season, which is unfortunately the category in which most of my allergies fall. so now i'm drowning in reading for my history mid-term and well as constantly uncomfortably itchy and with my eyes watering, i can barely focus and much less read the things i need to read for the assignment

i know this is such an obscure thing to complain about, but i'm not used to be doing this much work in spring - this is usually where classes start to slow down as we near the end of the semester or school year, but this year, it's mid-terms and closely followed by this semester's exams - they start this month, actually. i just don't have the extra energy that i really need in order to do well in history - my weakest subject and the only one i've failed so far
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Re: VENT HERE!!!

Post by artymon I\/ » Tue 23rd Apr 2019

Bloody hell...So the publisher I'm working with says the print company we're using claims they've already shipped off a supply of books that I never received. And it's the incorrect incarnation at that. I mean....cheese and mothercabbage crackers. I've been working with this guy since at least...what November or so? Of last bloody year and here we still are! We technically would have been done except the wrong file had gotten sent in, then I made a change and overlooked another error, that's on me - but it's worth noting it's an error that shouldn't have been there as I had already mentioned it when the first electronic copy was sent to me. This is just turning out to be such a bloody fiasco and it shouldn't be. Man, next time I'm just going to epub it and be done. Or just post it here.

Then there's that. Again, no one's in the wrong, maybe me for making assumptions? But I never acted inappropriately on those presumptions. Just....frustrating. Like hey, a snarky, pretty gal, I like this chick. Oh. She already has a mate. That's about the story of my love life. Any female I'm ever remotely interested in is always attached with someone else.
I suppose this is the part where Colin says a man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets. Well you know what, Colin? If a woman is in a happy relationship, who am I to disrupt it? It's purely selfish.
Colin: Unless you convince yourself you could make the lass happier by dating you instead, then it would be bad form to not date her and improve the quality of her life.
...
Well gee, aren't you Mr. Smoothy.
But no. Even if I convinced myself it was perfectly moral to break a relationship apart just for sake of sating my desires to date a lass, I wouldn't want to date a lass so easily swayed.

>>
<<

Off and on, I keep revisiting Black Flag, sometimes playing it, other times listening to the shanties...lately, I keep mentally revisiting the dream sequence from later in the game. Where Edward is in a stupor and hallucinates himself behind the wheel of the Jackdaw, he sees Caroline for a bit, then she changes to Mary Read who tells him to "turn back before it's too late. Change course." Those two words keep resonating in me. Change course.
Then I think of Stairway to Heaven. "Yes there are two paths you can go by / But in the long run / There's still time to change the road you're on"
Dunno.

~~

There might be two paths you can take...but they all seem to circle back to the same outcome. Time probably is fixed, like Artemis-time travel, you can't change anything, no matter how hard you try. But then, that'd be admitting or accepting that things are destined or preordained a certain way...which in turn implies a higher power.
....which conflicts my preference of believing in a multiverse system. Unless this is the multiverse that doesn't allow you to change things. Like the Land Without Magic...
Anyway...
Sometimes I feel like I've been cheated at the hand of life. I know I don't have it bad. I have a pretty good life in comparison, I know. Just...feels like I'm stuck and there's no way forward. But I'm at least stuck with a decent view. Might not be able to open the door, but I can smell the sea breeze and feel it flutter my hair....
"Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia."
Every word and letter I've written for stories, I've done my best to keep this principle in mind. Now...
Now I find myself at a sad realization: The person I'm writing for no longer is around. They no longer care. Likely, the tale would no longer please them as it once may have. But I guess I knew that all along. Roxy suggested that perhaps then that I am still writing for this one person....but it's not who I think it is or was. That it could be someone I've never met.
I guess Morty was write. When the leprechaun snags the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...it's just cornflakes.

Alright, enough of that for now.

~~

Look at this. Not even a day later. I mean...I had a nasty suspicion it was going to be circus of a week, but wow...
I'm feeling low.
Like I wouldn't quite mind if I died.
For anyone reading this, no, I don't want to. Least, I don't think I do. Mostly because I know any sort of injury or illness incurred wouldn't actually kill me, no, no, I'd just end up an invalid.
Just...I try to do something nice and Fate shoves dirt in my face.
I can't even bloody type.
I just wanted to come home and write my stupid Joey and Quacksalot story.
My sister is under the devout impression that karma comes back to bite you and thus goes out of her way to attempt to 'be a good person'. Anytime we're around her and she witnesses anything that could be construed as bad karma causes her to freak out.
I think I have that in reverse. If I try to do anything nice, I'll get reward only through suffering. For example, a couple weeks ago, I brought donuts in to work, and within hours, a radio slips out of my hand, falls half an inch and breaks my phone....a phone I'd had for four years with nary a scratch.
That's my lesson learned for the day. If there is a God or some sort of Watcher/person that controls us ants, then he knows exactly the sort of person I am and fully accepts and expects that and will correct me if I attempt to do anything out of character or overtly nice.
Message received, mate. No more Mr. Nice Guy.
(Yes, I know, what a cliche)
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