Julius's story.

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julius123
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Julius's story.

Post by julius123 » Wed 16th May 2007

okay, i'm writing a new story about a Rusian in world war two. i'm not foar in it, but i'll tell u what I have.

"My name, is Ikolia Belenov. It is January 13th, 1938. I am a Russian clockwork apprentice from the Ural. word spreads that..." "Ikolia, come help me with dinner!" "in a sec mother, anyway, word spreads that Hitler, is preparing for war. If this is so, then whatever hope of keeping a peaceful land will be gone. I don't trust the Germans. Their new leader has an ill mind. And if that ill mind is preparing for war, then let's hope it's not going to come for lord Stalin and the Motherland."

Ikolia then packed away his journal, got up, and headed off to get dinner, but just when he got inside, he noticed the gun on the shelf by the door that his dad used in world war one, whom had got injure due to a shot in the leg, and thought, "I may have to use that Ritfle against the Germans If they do start a war" and continued his way to the kitchen.

"It is now September 8th, 1949. Germany has Invaded Poland and is moving East and West towards France, Switzerland, Belgium, the Czeck repuplic, and Austria. If they continue this, they'll reach Russia in no time. I am only 19, but if those Germans Reach Russia, then i'm willing to fight to the death!"

that's not all i got, but typing this takes a while, so if you want to hear more, i'll be on it when i have time. :)

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julius123
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Julius's story.

Post by julius123 » Tue 22nd May 2007

ok, i figured out how to cut and paste, so here's the whole part of what i got,

Chapter 1:
“My name, is Ikolia Belenov. It is January 13th, 1938. I am a Russian clockwork apprentice from the Ural. Word spreads that…” “Ikolia, come help me cook dinner.” “in a sec mother! Anyway, word spreads that Hitler, is preparing for war. If this is so, then whatever hope of keeping a peaceful land will be gone. I don’t trust the Germans. Their new leader is has an ill mind. And if that ill mind is planning on war, then let’s hope that it’s not going to come for lord Stalin and the motherland.”

Ikolia then packed away his journal, got up, and headed off to get dinner, but just when he got inside, he noticed the gun on the shelf by the door that his dad used in the first world war whom had got injured due to a shot in the leg, and thought “I may have to use that gun against the Germans if they do start a war. And continued his way to the kitchen.

“It is now September 8th 1939. Germany has invaded Poland and is moving west and east towards France, Holland, Switzerland, Belgium, the Czech republic, and Austria. If they continue this, they’ll get to Russia in no time. I am only 19, but if those Germans reach Russia, then I’m willing to fight to the death.” He looked to his right to see his 8 year old sister, Tyra, playing happily with her dog, Stalin, named after the leader of Russia, Joseph Stalin. Ikolia watched her as she threw the stick and Stalin would get it but not return it and Tyra would have to chase the un-trained dog around in hope of grabbing the stick.
“After all, this country is worth fighting for” he said smiling.

“December 3rd 1941,
It is what I have feared, the Germans just entered Russia with armies that seem only unstoppable. Our only hope is to fight and get them out of the motherland. I…” “Ikolia, there is mail for you here.” Ikolia sighed and said, “In a sec mother! I…” “Ikolia, it’s important!” his mother shot back. Ikolia gave an angry moan and got up to head for the kitchen. When he reached the kitchen to fetch the mail, he noticed one with the hammer and sickle crossed. It was the symbol of the soviet union! He hoped that it wasn’t a draft sheet and opened it. It was the exact opposite of what he had hoped. It read:
Dear Mr.Belenov,
You have been selected to
serve for the red army in hope of
defeating the Germans. The motherland needs your help.
If you refuse to report, you will
be tried in court with the charge
of Treason. The punishment
will be death. If you have your own weapon, it will be appreciated if you bring it. Furthermore, If you die, we will
notify your family. If you get
injured, we will take you home
and let you family take care of
you. Report to camp Verishnikov on December 5th.
Serve Russia well,
Joseph Stalin.

What Ikolia read made him tremble. He dropped the letter and began to cry. His mother came wondering what was wrong. She picked up the letter and took a look. Then turned and started sobbing. “What’s wrong?” asked Tyra. Ikolia wiped his tears and explained, “Tyra, I’ll be going away for a while. For a few years. I’m going to a colledge, I’ve finally been accepted. And I will miss you, very much.” Ikolia hated lying to his own sister, but if he told the truth, she would either follow him some how, or run away, and never return.
“That’s great! So, why are you crying?” asked Tyra curiously. “Because these are tears of joy! You know how hard it is to get accepted into colleges these days,” said Ikolia trying to sound convincing. So Ikolia went up to his room to ‘pack’(cry) and then to bed.
It was hard to sleep that night, knowing that death is only 2 days away. He tried his best to fall asleep, but he couldn’t, until he finally cried himself to sleep.

The next day Ikolia awoke with no breakfast. He just read his newspaper, reading how it said the Nazis are advancing rapidly and soldiers are now gathering in Stalingrad to fight the Germans. Then his mother came in. “We need to talk.” His mother said gesturing towards the living room. When Ikolia got in the living room, his mom was some how already there! “Sit down.” She said. He sat down knowing that the topic was about being drafted. “When your father left to fight we didn’t worry and thought he would come home fine with 50 German dog tags. But we were wrong. He got injured from those damned Germans. If you go then you might get injured as well, or even worse.” She sounded as if she’s never going to see him again, which is a possibility. “But, I also want you to go because those Germans kill… er, I mean, injured your father, and also because those Germans invaded the motherland and they shall pay!”

pretty good huh? let's hear what you think about it.

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Post by BlackOpal » Tue 22nd May 2007

I like that you're modest. ;)
It's good. I've never seen a WWII story on Russia.
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Post by darvit » Sat 26th May 2007

A good start, Julius. :) A couple spelling errors here and there, a few sentence fragments on occassion, yet a good start, nonetheless. :)

You need a little work with language use [e.g. "just a sec mom" just ruins the whole serious tone right after reading Ikolia's journal entries. :P]. Think of everything in the context of Russia during the early years of World War II. How do they speak? How does a real draft letter sound like? What does a clockwork apprentice do? What's it like to live in the Ural? Are they rich, poor, middle-class? Tiny details [when used sparingly] could add depth to your story. :)

As I told you before, do a bit of research to make your story more realistic. With a little more polishing, a few historical and cultural references here and there, this could end up as a well-written historical short story! :D

Good luck! 8)
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Post by Domovi » Mon 28th May 2007

Very good, but wasn't Soviet Russia part of the Soviet Union, and wasn't the soviet union was on the Axis side (Soviet Union, Germany, Japan, ect.), the Allies side was America, Europe, Era (Ireland), ect.
The Soviet union was the major power within the Axis side, and America was the major power on the Allies side, Please refer to them as Axis and Allies, and also Please tell me if I gave you the wrong information.

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julius123
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Julius's story.

Post by julius123 » Tue 29th May 2007

no, Russia was invaded by Germany in 1941. Russia didn't want anything to do with the war, but they had no choice when they were invaded.
BTW, the Axis was Germany, Japan, ITALY.[/url]
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