Writers' Club

Anyone can start or join a club in here.
Post Reply
User avatar
BlackOpal
Fangathering Fever patient
Posts: 8023
Joined: Sun 22nd Oct 2006
Location: Posh Isolation
Contact:

Re: Writers' Club

Post by BlackOpal » Wed 26th Nov 2008

What I like to do, HS9, is to just write.
I do this for an allotted period of time, usually five minutes. I erase nothing. I just write whatever comes to mind. It can be poetry or fiction.

You know you want to review this fic. :)
Thanks to darvit and /b/for my signature. :D
And thanks Kagoma, for the awesome birthday present that is the C&H sprite!
You can't take the sky from me.
1/4/10- The end of the world as you know it
And it's just the beginning...

User avatar
Captain Short 711
Centaur Genius
Posts: 1823
Joined: Sun 17th Aug 2008
Location: Battery City

Re: Writers' Club

Post by Captain Short 711 » Sun 30th Nov 2008

Can someone help me think of a good topic for a story? Today I had a strange urge to write a story but the insparation wouldn't come!
Image
Image

User avatar
Target Aquired
LEP Recruit
Posts: 236
Joined: Wed 27th Feb 2008
Location: Cardboard Box

Re: Writers' Club

Post by Target Aquired » Mon 1st Dec 2008

Captain Short 711 wrote:Can someone help me think of a good topic for a story? Today I had a strange urge to write a story but the insparation wouldn't come!


I actually use Dictionary.com's Word of the Day for my inspirtations. It works surprisingly well. Also, going to Flickr.com and clicking the Explore button brings up random pictures that can be inspirational.


Does anyone here play Kingdom Hearts? I've got a series of drabbles going on Fanfiction.net and having some talented writers to review it would be nice.

...is in quasi-hibernation for a bit...
*--
" just across the wide-open green space, is it?"
YES, i am a devoted A/M shipper.
graphics by T A R G E T _ A Q U I R E D ~*
for my fanfiction "f e r m a t a ," go here or here.
Image

User avatar
Meova
Fangathering Fever patient
Posts: 7628
Joined: Fri 28th Sep 2007
Location: Not sure, but I'm probably writing.
Contact:

Re: Writers' Club

Post by Meova » Sun 14th Dec 2008

Captain Short 711 wrote:Can someone help me think of a good topic for a story? Today I had a strange urge to write a story but the insparation wouldn't come!


If I have that, I write a songfic. Or I just write a few sentences down and work with them. (That's how I wrote Reality.)
ImageImageImageImage
Image
My LiveJournal. Spread the word! ;)
Darvit, 1holly, and also our beloved /b/, we'll never forget you!
AugNo Winner of 2009! :awesome:
1/4/10. Watch it. It'll be huge.

User avatar
Captain Short 711
Centaur Genius
Posts: 1823
Joined: Sun 17th Aug 2008
Location: Battery City

Re: Writers' Club

Post by Captain Short 711 » Mon 15th Dec 2008

Awesome! I might try that!
Image
Image

User avatar
HollyShort9
Fangathering Fever patient
Posts: 7961
Joined: Fri 7th Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Location: Broadway

Re: Writers' Club

Post by HollyShort9 » Tue 23rd Dec 2008

Can people pleases check out my new one-shot short stories, "Goodbye, Emily." and "Teal, the color of teardrops."? And can you give me advice on what I can do to make mah one-shots better? Thanks! :D

Here are the links:

You know you want to read "Teal, the color of teardrops."

You know you want to click on this...
Image
we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.

User avatar
Meova
Fangathering Fever patient
Posts: 7628
Joined: Fri 28th Sep 2007
Location: Not sure, but I'm probably writing.
Contact:

Re: Writers' Club

Post by Meova » Sun 28th Dec 2008

I wrote a Twilight fic. It's kinda dark, like my usual stories... Can someone please read and tell me if they like it? :oops: It only features Bella and Edward.

Running

She had to run. Oh God, she could hear him get closer, wanting her blood. It surprised her that he didn't use his supernatural speed, he could've gotten to her already if he'd really wanted to. Maybe, just maybe, he'd wanted to give her a fair chance. If she'd had the breath the spare, she would've snorted. Yeah, right. If not even Alice, Esme and Carlisle together could keep him from killing her, he certainly wouldn't give her a fair chance. No, she knew what he wanted. He didn't want to waste his energy, probably. Besides, he knew she would trip sooner or later. With her clumsiness and bad luck, it was only a matter of time. How could this have happened? He loved her. He had told her that over and over. He loved her more than anything... So why did he want her dead now?

She thought back. She thought she knew what drove him to do this. She knew her blood smelled good to him, better than anyone else's. The Volturi had called it something fancy, she didn't remember the exact name. Only that her blood seemed to sing at him. He couldn't read her mind, and that frustrated him. That could have something to do with it too. He held on to his feelings until bam, he exploded. And man, he exploded with a bang. Then, of course, it had irritated him that she had to see Jacob. Had to hang around with werewolves. He thought that was too dangerous, yet she continued to see them, to push him. And she wanted to be a vampire. That was something he wanted to avoid at all costs. Would he kill her for that?

She looked back, and wasn't surprised to see that he had gained several metres. She should run, not think. He was close enough now for her to see the look on his face. It was mad, the thirst flickering in his pitch-black eyes. He still wasn't using his extra abilities. She wondered why for a brief moment, then focused again on staying on her feet. She couldn't trip, not now. Just when she thought that, of course, she tripped. She quickly stood up, wounds covering her knees and hands. He emitted a scream, driven mad by the scent of her now-exposed blood. It hurted her to listen to his madness. She wanted to, had to calm him, stroke his cold, marmer skin, so he'd be fine again. She noticed tears were blurring her vision, and falling down her face, but she didn't pause. Her panting got heavier and heavier. Everytime she looked back, he'd have gained another metre. Black spots were dancing in front of her eyes, every breath brought along dry retching, and her legs felt like jelly. She knew she would stop running soon, whether she wanted to or not.

She ran in an alley. It was dark, and she hoped that would slow him down. She hid behind some trash cans, hopefully her scent would be obscured by that. But she knew better, even if the dark would bother him and the trash cans would hinder him, he'd still hear her. It was only a matter of seconds now before he'd find her. She looked longingly to the left, where La Push was. She had hoped she'd reach it, but no such luck. Quickly, she allowed herself to remember some of the nicer memories. He, sparkling in the sun, their kissed, how he'd told her everything about vampires... Then she heard his voice, and knew it was over. The game was over.

'Bella, I know you're here.' His voice was hoarse from the thirst. She could picture him, arms crossed, his face a carefully composed mask. She wished for it to be over soon, she didn't want to fight anymore. So she stood up. He was there, standing exactly as she'd pictured him.
'Edward,' she said to attract his attention. He saw her, and within a second, he was next to her. His eyes actually looked a little softer now, but still thirsty. Very thirsty.
'You didn't have to run.' He stroked her hair when he said that. 'I knew you were afraid of me.' He avoided her gaze.
'I never was, and never will be afraid of you,' she said, colder than she'd intended. He noticed the coldness, and accidentally pulled out a few strands of hair when he jerked his hand back.
'I see,' he murmured, absent-mindedly shaking his hand to get rid of her pulled-out hair. 'You still want to live forever with me, and Alice promised the Volturi you'd be a vampire soon. I won't allow it.' He screamed the last sentence again. 'I won't allow it!'

She pleaded as if her life depended on in. Which, of course, was exactly the case.
'Edward, you don't have to kill me to avoid me becoming a vampire. If you don't kill me, I swear I'll never say anything about it, ever again!'
He considered it. It looked like she'd convinced him. The thirst in his eyes disappeared, and her favourite smile appeared.
'You're right, it doesn't. We can live happily ever after, until the day you die.' Their eyes both flashed with hope. She nodded.
'Exactly.'
He pulled her to him, nearly making her lose her balance. He wound his fingers through hers and smiled apologetically.
'You are such a bad liar, Bella.'
Before she could reply, he kissed her, and curled his arm around her. Just like they do in old vampire movies, she thought. He kissed her cheek, all the way down to her neck, where he bit her. Moment before she died, she managed to whisper her final words.
'I love you, Edward...'
ImageImageImageImage
Image
My LiveJournal. Spread the word! ;)
Darvit, 1holly, and also our beloved /b/, we'll never forget you!
AugNo Winner of 2009! :awesome:
1/4/10. Watch it. It'll be huge.

User avatar
HollyShort9
Fangathering Fever patient
Posts: 7961
Joined: Fri 7th Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Location: Broadway

Re: Writers' Club

Post by HollyShort9 » Mon 29th Dec 2008

Omg, I just read your fiction, Meova, and that was so awesome! I could just picture the whole thing in my mind! Great job!

Now....

In exchange for me reading yours, you must clicky and read the whole thing! :D

Yes, I mean the WHOLE thing, all 6 chapters XD

But if you don't want to, you don't have to :P
Image
we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.

User avatar
BlackOpal
Fangathering Fever patient
Posts: 8023
Joined: Sun 22nd Oct 2006
Location: Posh Isolation
Contact:

Re: Writers' Club

Post by BlackOpal » Mon 29th Dec 2008

Running Beta'd, as requested. :P

She had to run. Oh God, she could hear him get closer, wanting her blood. It surprised her that he didn't use his supernatural speed, he could've gotten to her already if he'd really wanted to. Maybe, just maybe, he'd wanted to give her a fair chance. If she'd had the breath the spare, she would've snorted. Yeah, right. If not even Alice, Esme and Carlisle together could keep him from killing her, he certainly wouldn't give her a fair chance. No, she knew what he wanted. He didn't want to waste his energy, probably. Besides, he knew she would trip sooner or later. With her clumsiness and bad luck, it was only a matter of time. How could this have happened? He loved her. He had told her that over and over. He loved her more than anything... So why did he want her dead now? This is good, it's an interesting beginning. Maybe add some more description? It feels like a paragraph that would have description.

She thought back. She thought she knew what drove him to do this. She knew her blood smelled good to him, better than anyone else's. Twilight readers already know this. If you're going to say that maybe be a bit more descriptive or poetic. Describe his need for blood. Otherwise you're telling them something they already know. The Volturi had called it something fancy, she didn't remember the exact name. I don't remember what that name was, or even remember if they said one. But I think that this is a little clumsy. Either you know the name or you don't. I don't think you should mention it. Or maybe disregard this comment entirely. I reread it and it grows on me. Only that her blood seemed to sing at him. He couldn't read her mind, and that frustrated him. That could have something to do with it too. He held on to his feelings until bam, he exploded. And man, he exploded with a bang. Then, of course, it had irritated him that she had to see Jacob. She had to hang around with werewolves. He thought that was too dangerous, yet she continued to see them, to push him. And she wanted to be a vampire. That was something he wanted to avoid at all costs. Would he kill her for that?

She looked back, and wasn't surprised to see that he had gained several metres. She should run, not think. He was close enough now for her to see the look on his face. It was mad, the thirst flickering in his pitch-black eyes. He still wasn't using his extra abilities. She wondered why for a brief moment, then focused again on staying on her feet. She couldn't trip, not now. Just when she thought that, of course, she tripped. You used trip. Maybe the word 'fell' would work better? She quickly stood up, wounds covering her knees and hands. He emitted a scream, driven mad by the scent of her now-exposed blood. It hurted her to listen to his madness. She wanted to, had to calm him, stroke his cold, marmer skin, so he'd be fine again. She noticed tears were blurring her vision, and falling down her face, but she didn't pause. Her panting got heavier and heavier. Every time she looked back, he'd have gained another metre. Black spots were dancing in front of her eyes, every breath brought along dry retching, and her legs felt like jelly. She knew she would stop running soon, whether she wanted to or not.

She ran in an alley. It was dark, and she hoped that would slow him down. She hid behind some trash cans, hopefully her scent would be obscured by that. But she knew better, even if the dark would bother him and the trash cans would hinder him, he'd still hear her. It was only a matter of seconds now before he'd find her. She looked longingly to the left, where La Push was. She had hoped she'd reach it, but no such luck. Quickly, she allowed herself to remember some of the nicer memories. He, sparkling in the sun, their kissed, how he'd told her everything about vampires... Then she heard his voice, and knew it was over. The game was over.

'Bella, I know you're here.' His voice was hoarse from the thirst. She could picture him, arms crossed, his face a carefully composed mask. She wished for it to be over soon, she didn't want to fight anymore. So she stood up. He was there, standing exactly as she'd pictured him.
'Edward,' she said to attract his attention. He saw her, and within a second, he was next to her. His eyes actually looked a little softer now, but still thirsty. Very thirsty.
'You didn't have to run.' He stroked her hair when he said that. 'I knew you were afraid of me.' He avoided her gaze.
'I never was, and never will be afraid of you,' she said, colder than she'd intended. He noticed the coldness, and accidentally pulled out a few strands of hair when he jerked his hand back.
'I see,' he murmured, absent-mindedly shaking his hand to get rid of her pulled-out hair. 'You still want to live forever with me, and Alice promised the Volturi you'd be a vampire soon. I won't allow it.' He screamed the last sentence again. 'I won't allow it!'

She pleaded as if her life depended on in. Which, of course, was exactly the case.
'Edward, you don't have to kill me to avoid me becoming a vampire. If you don't kill me, I swear I'll never say anything about it, ever again!'
He considered it. It looked like she'd convinced him. The thirst in his eyes disappeared, and her favourite smile appeared.
'You're right, it doesn't. We can live happily ever after, until the day you die.' Their eyes both flashed with hope. She nodded.
'Exactly.'
He pulled her to him, nearly making her lose her balance. He wound his fingers through hers and smiled apologetically.
'You are such a bad liar, Bella.'
Before she could reply, he kissed her, and curled his arm around her. Just like they do in old vampire movies, she thought. He kissed her cheek, all the way down to her neck, where he bit her. Moment before she died, she managed to whisper her final words.
'I love you, Edward...'

Good riddance.
*does the Bella's-dead dance*
I like it. :D
However, knowing Edward's character, I doubt that he'd kill her because she visited the werewolves.
In fact, I'm certain that he wouldn't.
If she promised to be with him and then ran off with Jacob, or kissed Jacob, or something... He is kind of really bipolar and controlling so that might set him off. But not simply visiting the werewolves. Edward never really hates the werewolves.
I like the ending the best. :)
Thanks to darvit and /b/for my signature. :D
And thanks Kagoma, for the awesome birthday present that is the C&H sprite!
You can't take the sky from me.
1/4/10- The end of the world as you know it
And it's just the beginning...

User avatar
HollyShort9
Fangathering Fever patient
Posts: 7961
Joined: Fri 7th Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Location: Broadway

Re: Writers' Club

Post by HollyShort9 » Mon 29th Dec 2008

Wow, I never noticed any of those things, Opal.

And BTW: They DID mention the name Volturi in the books. Remember? In the second and in the last. Reread them, maybe?
Image
we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.

User avatar
Meova
Fangathering Fever patient
Posts: 7628
Joined: Fri 28th Sep 2007
Location: Not sure, but I'm probably writing.
Contact:

Re: Writers' Club

Post by Meova » Mon 29th Dec 2008

It's not just about visiting the werewolves, it was more. I changed it, I'll send it to you now, kay? Through PM, otherwise you'll forget it again ;)
ImageImageImageImage
Image
My LiveJournal. Spread the word! ;)
Darvit, 1holly, and also our beloved /b/, we'll never forget you!
AugNo Winner of 2009! :awesome:
1/4/10. Watch it. It'll be huge.

User avatar
HollyShort9
Fangathering Fever patient
Posts: 7961
Joined: Fri 7th Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Location: Broadway

Re: Writers' Club

Post by HollyShort9 » Mon 29th Dec 2008

Meoo? Ooooooopal? Can you plllllleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaases read my stories "Eternity without you is a long time..." and "Why me?". They're both on the forum. I haven't finished Eternity without you is a long time yet, though. I only have the intro and chapter 1 part 1 up.

But can you guys plllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease read them? Pleaaaases?

*puppydogbegs*
Image
we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.

User avatar
xox Miss Livia xox
Queen of Wonderland
Posts: 7099
Joined: Sat 8th Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Location: A shrouded ship, disappearing upon the sea.

Re: Writers' Club

Post by xox Miss Livia xox » Tue 30th Dec 2008

Would someone mind Beta'ing "Little Surprises"? It's on Forum. I would much appreciate it!
"People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say, "No, this is who I am". You want people to look at you differently? Make them! You want to change things, you're gonna have to go out there and change them yourself, because there are no fairy godmothers in this world." - Emma Swan, Once Upon A Time.
Image
Image
Welcome aboard, lads and lasses. Let's see what adventures await us...

Join me:
~My Art page~|~My facebook ~|

User avatar
HollyShort9
Fangathering Fever patient
Posts: 7961
Joined: Fri 7th Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Location: Broadway

Re: Writers' Club

Post by HollyShort9 » Tue 30th Dec 2008

I'll beta it!


/EDIT: First part of it is now beta'd, like promised :D (I'll bold what I'm saying like Opal did for Meo's ;) )

Surprise:
A brief emotional state that is the result of experiencing an unexpected relevant event. Surprise can have any valence; that is, it can be neutral, pleasant, or unpleasant. Accordingly, some would not categorize surprise in itself as an emotion.


Artemis did not like surprises. He liked to always be in the know, and to be prepared. To be surprised means you weren't ready, you fell behind. Surprises where something he avoided. Needless to say, some surprises are better found than heard of.

Artemis was busily typing on his computer in his acquired study, frantically ploughing through Foaly's hacked databases. He had to be in the know at all times. Nothing was to be off guard. It was four in the morning, Artemis had been having difficulty sleeping. He had for a while now. He'd found out, rather by accident, about a banished race of fairies that he desperately needed more information about.
Nymphs.
By greek origins, they were humans with godly powers. But this, in fact, was nothing but misperception. Nymphs were not some ethereal creatures for men to have a gawk at, no, they were much more lethal.
Powerful.
Artemis was determined to know more. He took a sip from his thrid cup of Earl Grey. Butler would no doubt have fallen asleep on the lounge by now. Artemis didn't think it was necessary for the bodyguard to persistently guard him at these unearthly hours of the morning, but the bodyguard insisted. So, he would fall asleep. At least he was close at hand.
Artemis continued to trail through the many sites on Foaly's data base, but every search he made come up blank. It was as if the Nymph's had been wiped off the slate. He knew they were around, it was a matter of finding their powers, their weaknessess and their habitats. I think you mean weaknesses, not weaknessess, right? Domination was key. He would be on top of the knowledge pile, as he had been when he had first kidnapped Holly. Artemis wondered if he had set off any alarms for the LEP. He did not need Holly to lecture him on "The monster Mud Man" he was and such and so. And he also didn't need any other people interfering with his latest plot. Soon, he would have his own People to stick close at hand. He needed to know.
He had to know.
On and on he searched.
Minutes dragged to hours.
Soon, it was sunrise.
He had it.

Artemis sat at his desk, looking over the files he had printed. They'd come in handy.
Everything he needed to know was all here, all in print. The nymphs would be powerless to him, Artemis Fowl The II. He would once again be in control. He needed one host, that was all. These creatures were so reckless, colours that ranged for the powers they had. Artemis began to categorise I'm pretty sure it's categorize :P the coloured fairies, memorising Spelling again, it's memorizing. ;) the powers and weaknessess Once again, I think you mean weaknesses. each had. It was priority. He neither slept nor ate as he studied, analyzed, searched.
He needed answers, and these little fairies would give it to him.
Everything had an answer, one simply needed the right questions.

Surprises.
The one thing Artemis detested.

The first surprise was only days away.....




I could only find a few spelling mistakes, otherwise you're good :D


//Edit: Second part of Little Surprises, beta'd.

Artemis did not need assistance. He was a big boy now, surely he could manage this on his own....

Then again, who was he to judge the need of the assistance of Butler. Well, he was the Manservant's Fixed that for you, you said "Manservants" and not "Manservant's". (I think you meant Manservant's, right?) Master.....

Oh dear. Artemis was in a little bit of a pickle now. Artemis was quite sure, in fact, he was positive (at the time) that he would not need the manservant to protect him. He had the technology of a phone to call for assistance if needed, so what was there to worry about?

After Artemis had done the research he needed, he prepared himself for a "takedown" as the movies and so on keep calling it. He prepared his equipment, choosing what was best needed for the mission.
'Do you need any help with this, Artemis?' Asked Butler.
Artemis turned from packing a bag, 'No thank you Butler, I shall be fine. You can rest. I'll call if anything is needed.'
The Manservant unhappily obliged. One must do what one is told. So, Artemis finished his packing, and made plans of transportation.

NOW:
Once Artemis had arrived at the Dublin Springs, he could already smell his plan succeeding. If only someone had been there to "Beg to differ." with. Artemis slipped his bag onto his back, tucked his cell into his suit pcoket, Suit pocket, not suit pcoket. :) and slowly made his way across the rocky terrain. He crossed over loose stones that should surely send someone with his physical training tumbling over, but luckily, he crossed over the natural healing spas with ease. Many years, more like centuries ago, fairies would come here for holidays and for healing rituals to the natural waters. Almost as strong as the Ring of Tara waters. Artemis watched his footing, also checking a map in his hand with marked locations. He had to alternate between the map and his actual surroundings. It took some adjusting (and a few embarrassing falls) but he soon got used to it. Soon he was covering quite a substantial amount of terrain. Artemis now reached the edges of the rocky craters and pillars of stones that marked the springs, and now reached the forests that spanned beyond....beyong Ahh, again with a typo! XD "Beyond" not "Beyong".the steep hills that reached down from the springs. Artemis sighed, of course it would not be "A si ple walk in the park." I think you meant to say, "A simple walk in the park.", not "A si ple walk in the park." There would be interferences. Artemis folded his map up, crease to crease, and tucked the map in with his phone. He then analysed Put in a Z instead of an S, once again. ;)the hillside. After fifteen minutes of trying to find the right path down the mountain sides with false starts that foiled the route, You said "ruote", I fixed that for ya too. XDArtemis decided he'd have to do it "The adventurous" or more "Fun" way. Go down, and go with the heat of the moment to make course. Artemis took a deep breath and so prepared to decend, I think you mean "descend". possibly with disastrous results. Perhaps it was better to take the "Possibly" out of that equation. Artemis barely managed to make it down in one piece. In fact, the travelling went more like slip, slide, scream, tumble, roll, crash at bottom.
How embarrassing.
For a Genius.
Anyone else would have laughed it off. The again, anyone else would probably have done Fixed another mistake, it said "donw" and not "done".much better at the slide than what Artemis might have.
ARtemis Uncapitalize the R in Artemis :)stood up quickly, clearing his throat, dusting himself down and checked around himself. He knew no-one was there, and he felt like an idiot when he realised Try putting in a Z instead of a S in "realized". what he was doing, but he fixed himself up none the less. He would take down his opponents with class and style. Artemis then grabbed his map out, only You spelled it "onyl" and not "only", I fixed it for ya. to find he'd acquired some substantial injuries from the slide. Gazing back up to the still dusty slide, he saw that his lacerations would have come from the rocks and buches Do you mean "bushes" or "bunches"? I can't tell. XD on the slope. Silently cursing to himself, he attempted cleaning off some the blood. he grudgingly wiped it on his trousers, finding he hadn't packed medical supplies.
He made a mental note to remember that for next time, and to take some wildside training too.
Artemis continued on his way, stepping foot into the forest. He walked through, deeper into the trees. He searched around himself, and mark a tree now and then with some chalk he had packed so that he;d be able to find his way home. It was darker in the forest, from the high, thick canopy of the ever green tree tops. On Artemis went, feeling ever confident this would be an easy success...how wrong one genius can be.
On Artemis marched. Depper Another typo XD. "Deeper", not "depper".into the forest, deeper into something very dangerous. Artemis had no idea what was in stall for him. Normally, a few hikers or so would come through, and of course, any other human would be left alone, but then again, most of the other humans didn't know what was there. Many sites were cleared around the forests, where clans of Nymphs would mark their own. Of course, the central meadow was the one place where they all would gather, peaceful with their own kind. This is where Artemis intended to capture one.
Artemis waltzed right into the meadow, and of course, it was clear and something was no doubt a dream place where many teenagers would go for a pretty moonlit night together. Artemis looked around. You said "Artemis lookeda round". I fixed it for you. :)Trees lined around him, birds calling, trees swayign Swaying, not "swayign". :) with the wind, blossoms dancing through the breezes like ballerinas, landing gracefully on the forest floor. Boulders lay around, like a magical scene. Of couse,"Course", you put it in without a R. :) he knew it was a magical scene. Time for the magic to appear. He walked closer to the boulders in the center of the meadow.
'Greetings! I am Artemis Fowl, I wish to speak to the Nymphs of the forest!' He called out into the oblivion. If someone had been standing nearby and listening, they would have though he was a right minded idiot. Artemis stood still, waiting, watching. It was as if the trees had stopped moving, the wind stopped blowing, and the forest came to a deathly silence. Still, Artemis waited, his heartrate increasing with the anticipation. he could feel it knotting his stomach, bubbling his nerves, adrenaline sneaking in.
'You look, and sound, like an idiot mate.' A voice laughed high in the canopy. A female voice. There were child like giggles all around, coming from nearly everyone, stopping and continuing in different spots. Artemis turned frantically to the sources, but could see nothing. he felt a hand tap his shoulder. He turned to se millions of ten year old sized adults, all different colours, with different features. Artemis allowed himself a grin, he'd found them. A red coloured girl with short red hair came towards him.
'What do you want with us, Artemis?' She asked, cocking her head to the side, long pointed pixie like ears pricking to his voice.
'I would like to negotiate with you...'
The pixies laughed, 'Negotiate? What exactly is there to "Negotiate' my dear human?'
Artemis raised an eyebrow, 'I have met more of your kind, and I know that you are elemental controling Controlling. Put two L's in. ;) creatures. I know you were banished from haven centuries ago.'
The little creatures hissed with ferocity. 'And I also know that each of your colours represents different elements you can control.'
The Nymphs looked at one another, all exchanging almost cheeky smiles.
'So know that you will not hurt me, dear Nymph...' He nodded at the red one. She smiled, almost seductively.
'So what exactly do you want, human?'
'I want you to join into the Fowl Industries, become our allies.'
'Oh, and if we choose no?'
Artemis grinned, 'Then I can always call my manservant, or, I could expose you all to the human race. Then the LEP will have no choice but to rid of you and your homes.'
The little fairies were not amused by this pale faced child making threats against their kind. In fact, they didn't take very kindly to it at all.
'Why don't we rid of you first then.' The red girl smiled.
Artemis backed up, but the other fairies had surrounded him.
'I have weapons, I will hurt you if I must.' Artemis said, trying to sound in power. It didn't work very well. 'I know you can't hurt me, only the green ones will.'
The Nymphs laughed, and Artemis was dumbstruck, wide-eyed when he saw the little Nymphs glowing and changing colours like bubbles. he had been wrong. Dead wrong. This could cost him.
'We're only playing around with you dear boy. We are peacefuly "Peacefuly"? I can't tell if you meant "peaceful" or "peacefully". Might want to change that. ;) creatures. Come, I shall speak with you.' The little, now red again, female motioned Artemis closer. Artemis released a breath, and walked closer to the now calm fairies. When he was close enough, the Red Nymph changed, made a firece Fierce, not firece ;)growl and hurtled a ball of energy at Artemis. It knocked him out cold as the other little Nymph laughed around him.

That was the first surprise:
Nymphs were coniving little creatures. I think you mean "Nymphs were convincing little creatures".

They were more than meets the eye.
They were clever....clever enough to outsmart Artemis Fowl the II.



I only found typos/spelling mistakes again. I pointed each of them out and changed a few for you. :)
Image
we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.

User avatar
xox Miss Livia xox
Queen of Wonderland
Posts: 7099
Joined: Sat 8th Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Location: A shrouded ship, disappearing upon the sea.

Re: Writers' Club

Post by xox Miss Livia xox » Tue 30th Dec 2008

Hmm, I think some of the spelling ones are becuase I do Aussy spelling...and argh! Damn you Typos!!
I hate when I do that!!

Thanks Holly9! Much appreciated! ;)

xx..♥
"People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say, "No, this is who I am". You want people to look at you differently? Make them! You want to change things, you're gonna have to go out there and change them yourself, because there are no fairy godmothers in this world." - Emma Swan, Once Upon A Time.
Image
Image
Welcome aboard, lads and lasses. Let's see what adventures await us...

Join me:
~My Art page~|~My facebook ~|

Post Reply