Fairytales

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xox Miss Livia xox
Queen of Wonderland
Posts: 7100
Joined: Sat 8th Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Location: A shrouded ship, disappearing upon the sea.

Fairytales

Post by xox Miss Livia xox » Wed 1st Aug 2012

As young as I could recall,
through winter, summer, spring or fall,
I would wander through life, watching as young princes saved a damsel,
every day was a journey, an adventure, a romance and happy ending.
Why, then, was I forsaken to watch, but never feel myself?
To see as if from behind a window, but be burdened to never have the experience for myself.
Soon the sun turned to rain, as sorrow took over the joy.

I searched and searched, and fearing I would never find, I grabbed what I could.
I had created the image of my prince in my mind, and so began my search for him.
I will not lie, the time began to fly.
It was sweet, I had found a potential prince, but things turned sour,
It felt like no matter what, I would be alone to my final hour,
I tried, I had thought several times I perhaps had found my prince and would live through a fairytale
Things soon turned with Fate’s desire, and everything would fall apart, like crystal tears.

As I grew from child to Maiden, my hungry eyes were still nurtured by clouded notions
I blamed everyone else, I would say it was the others fault things went wrong,
Was I not good enough? Was I cursed? Was it because I did not possess beauty?
So soon to have my innocence stolen, to have forgotten the sweet beauty’s.
Life became dark, a twisted, gnarled, abyss of torment and anguish,
Rotting in hatred and pools of anger and depression,
I began to push away the very idea of myself finding a way out to cleansing light.

Yet somehow, I saw sparkles of hope. Slowly, after being in the dark so long, I slowly crept.
I was hesitant; I didn’t wish to embrace the beautiful light after finding comfort in the solitudes of darkness.
When I had found the courage to look, I was hurled out into the light and bathed in the glory.
I had found joy again. It was so strange, unfamiliar, yet so much more than I could have asked for.
I still had hope for a fairytale.
I began to see more, and the more I saw, the less I spoke.
What I did speak, I found not of my tongue.
The darkness began to whisper, tempting me to return to its embrace.
I wanted to. Oh, how I wished to return to what I knew.
After all, when one is scared and in unfamiliar state, one returns to what one knows best.
The words were like silk in a trail of satin. So sleek, so smooth, impossible to ignore.
But like a snake it revealed itself, and by then my heart had been poisoned.

I envied the others. The ones who had happy little fairytales.
The ones in embraces with loving princes, the flowers, the poetry, the visages of affections to one another.
No more, I hissed. The darkness latched unto I and followed through the light, tainting my vision.
In my alone time, I ventured to a place my mind could rest.
I saw others who looked for fairytales. I saw others who were offered it, who had cruelties burdened to them.
I began to understand. I was one of them. I was so different.
Perhaps I truly was not worthy?
Where could my fairytale be?

Today my eyes opened for the first time,
I saw the world around me for what it really was,
the people without their masks and without my costumes.
Life isn't a fairytale.
Chasing a childish notion, even across an ocean,
the four corners of the earth would never reveal my dream.
I'm not a princess, the search for my dream man was a fruitless chase,
in the long run, I only hurt people and tarnished people's lives through my selfish searching for a man I perhaps will never meet outside my dreams.

I'm not a princess, Life's not a fairytale, my prince will never come, and "Happy ever afters" are just a mother's whisper in a child's tired ear
"People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say, "No, this is who I am". You want people to look at you differently? Make them! You want to change things, you're gonna have to go out there and change them yourself, because there are no fairy godmothers in this world." - Emma Swan, Once Upon A Time.
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