#21 First Fowl Feats.

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Kagoma_Kage
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#21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by Kagoma_Kage » Wed 23rd Apr 2008

I'm stealing this idea from Hanyou Kitty
"Describe Artemis's first heist. His very first. Like when he was a toddler or something."
So yes I think she summed it up nicely there, but not too sure that it should pertain only to heists or expressly to extreme youth, So instead I'm requesting your take on Artemis's first scheme in general, give as much detail as you can, the entry that seems most like it could've actually happened will be the victor.
Good luck, and thanks to Hanyou Kitty for the idea.

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HollyShort9
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Re: #21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by HollyShort9 » Fri 25th Apr 2008

When Artemis was three, he won a Smartest Kid Alive award.

When he was seven, he broke into a bank and got a ton of money.

When he was eight, he became world-wide famous for finding a cure for bone cancer. [I wish he was real and that actually happened. It would have saved my brother's godfather from having to die in a few months from bone cancer and my dog from being really close to dying currently from cancer.]

When he was nine, he found out about fairies.

When he was twelve, he found out more about the fairies and then began searching for them like he did in the first book.

:)
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Re: #21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by BlackOpal » Sat 26th Apr 2008

Of course, Artemis has been pulling all sorts of schemes since he could first hold his own head upright, but his first REAL heist, by adult standards, occurred when he was five. (Of course, this is just what is thought to be his first heist, any good criminal clears his tracks. We were just lucky enough to have some inside information)

Artemis had learned computer hacking from his father. When his father had time, which was not often, they went through the basics. Artemis Fowl Sr. did not like fairy tale stories or games like hide-and-seek, to him, breaking into a rival business man's bank account online was frivolous, his dealings with the wrong side of the law made this seem almost childish. Which was why he thought that it was a good game for his child. Their "lessons" would happen rarely, once every two months at most, but Artemis Jr. practiced diligently. He wanted his father's attention, and to him this seemed like the way to get it. Every spare moment was spent in a computer room, puring over codes. The boy refused any company except for his parents and his bodyguard. He became very good, but his father never seemed impressed. This accounts for the extreme skill that he showed at such a young age. The aptitude and work-ethic combined to make him a lethal weapon while he was just entering Kindergarten.

As a child of five years of age Artemis most likely did not understand the possible consequences of his plan. Most psychologists agree that even child prodigies mature only slightly faster than normal children. Artemis, at the age of five, probably only held the maturity of a seven-year-old, which is why he dared to take on Andrew Davies, a rich, Russian business man with shady connections.
At that age hacking into most computers was literally child's play for Artemis. And, as most children do, he sought a more interesting game. His brain absorbed knowledge like a sponge. In fact, his brain was much more effective than a sponge, it never seemed to reach its limit. While researching basic security equipment for his bedroom (body-heat sensors, cameras, etc.) he came across Davies INC. They claimed to have the most advanced system around. This included their computer software. It boasted more security than the Pentagon. Having already broken into the US government's computers (just to prove that he could) Artemis decided that it would be a challenge.
Well, now you're wondering why this is Artemis' first heist, if he had broken into other computers before. The answer is quite simple, he had never stolen anything. His parents' provided everything that he had ever wanted.
But earlier that day, while at the mall with his father, for the first time Artemis realized that he needed to be more autonomous. He had begged, with his best puppy dog eyes, for a piece of merchandise from the store.
His father would not buy him a lollipop.
It did not matter how much Artemis pouted or debated about the physical and mental benefits of lollipops. His father insisted that if he had one then he would spoil his dinner.
This peeved Artemis right off. But, like the clever young boy he was, he knew that if he made his own money his parents' would not be able to control how he spent it.
So hungry and angry he went home to look for some basics for his room.
And he got an idea.
Davies corporation was a very shady company. And being five Artemis did not have any trouble justifying robbing them.
He did not have a fully developed super-ego, but Artemis did understand that stealing was a no-no according to most grown-ups (he had not yet realized where his father's money came from). He fiddled with his computer until it appeared that it was broadcasting from somewhere in Australia. Artemis changed his IP address, his server, and hid any sign of his computer from others' eyes. (I don't know anything about computers, just insert computer babble there about how people will think that he's from Australia)
Hacking Davies INC was disappointingly easy. Artemis quickly e-transfered a couple million dollars to his own, newly made, bank account.
Glowing with success Artemis used his newfound riches to buy himself 300 of the best, biggest, most expensive lollipops in the world. And he ate them all in 48 hours.
He was sick for a week after.
Artemis never ate a lollipop again. But he continued his life of crime, happily and successfully.
Andrew Davies sent his Mafia friends on a wild hunt across Australia to find, and kill, whoever made off with a large chunk of his fortune. The search ended when the (not too bright) thugs tried to question a Kangaroo and were kicked in the chest by two very large feet.

____________________________________________

Okay, that was so lame. XD Ah well. I said that Artemis hacked into the Pentagon, which is far-fetched, but I'm playing on the fact that it is rumored to be "easy" to break into.
I might change the age later. Five seems a little bit far-fetched, maybe seven.
Yeah, I'll probably change it. Seven is still hard to believe, but then again, so is eleven.
Thanks to darvit and /b/for my signature. :D
And thanks Kagoma, for the awesome birthday present that is the C&H sprite!
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Re: #21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by Target Aquired » Sat 26th Apr 2008

I'd believe that little Artemis stole the stethoscope from the doctor when he was born.. XD

And BlackOpal... I understand where Artemis' deep loathing of lollies comes from now. That was hilarious!

----

As anyone with brothers knows, almost all young boys go through a fascination with construction equipment-- backhoes, bulldozers, you name it. If they have wheels bigger than the average SUV, boys are entranced by them. Artemis was similar and different to the rest of his age group-- he was also enamored with construction equipment. But instead of making "vroom-vroom" noises and buying toy models, Artemis was finding how many radians per minute the wheels spun and improving on the tire design.

As you know, it is very hard to formulate and test an invention if you don't have something to test it on. Having long outgrown his tiny die-cast models, Artemis decided that he needed something bigger. Like an actual backhoe.

The next day, Artemis tugged on his mother's sleeve and asked to play hide-and-seek. Angeline, growing concerned with his lack of normal toddler behavior, gladly complied. Unfortunately, Artemis insisted on being the seeker.

With his mother hiding and his father occupied in the study, there was only one more obstacle. He found Butler and asked the bodyguard to make him lunch. While the squash cooked, Artemis unlocked the family 4x4, put it into drive, and drove two miles to the nearest construction site.

Artemis pulled out a brown bag he had taken along and strode about as purposefully as a toddler could, giving off the aura of a son who was delivering lunch to his father. He found a backhoe and hopped in, pulling a screwdriver out of the brown bag. Within seconds, he had the dashboard paneling open before him and had hotwired the multi-ton vehicle. Artemis put it into drive, his feet barely touching the pedals. Then he drove home.

Angeline was aghast, of course. She returned the backhoe, promptly grounded Artemis (which was like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree), and bought yet another child psychology book. Artemis Senior noticed his son with a sheaf of paper in his room, and went on to patent the new tire design under Artemis Junior's name. It was his first (legal) patent.

Artemis later went on to buy the construction company and was once seen driving the backhoe and grinning.
Last edited by Target Aquired on Tue 29th Apr 2008, edited 1 time in total.

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HollyShort9
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Re: #21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by HollyShort9 » Sun 27th Apr 2008

Okay, now my entry sounds way lame, especially compared to you two's.. >.>
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MMK
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Re: #21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by MMK » Mon 28th Apr 2008

Wow, you guys should post those on the fanfiction archive, as one shots. They're really good. I especially like how you tied in the lollipop thing, Opal. Anyway, you all inspired me to enter my first challenge in about a year.

Oh, and keep in mind that, like BlackOpal, I know next to nothing about computers.
-------------------------------

As far as Artemis is concerned, he has no first scheme. It never existed. In actuality, he just doesn't like to think about it. You see, the great Artemis Fowl's first scheme was a complete and utter failure.

A five-year-old feels like he knows everything, and Artemis was no exception. He was worse, actually: the fact that his vocabulary was already bigger than that of anyone else he knew gave him a rather swollen head. And so, at five, he felt perfectly capable of solving his own problems.

The problem at hand was his report card. A kindergardeners’ report card is not about intelligence or test scores; Artemis would of course have had no need to tweak them then. But at that age, a report card is all about behavior. If a kid was too aloof, his parents were informed. If he was insulting, sarcastic (at five!), and disdaining of the teachers six times his age, then his parents would receive a less than positive note. Artemis was the only child in his class to even be aware that he was being marked in this way, and he knew his mother would make a fuss if she knew what his teachers thought of him. So he decided that she would never see it.

Artemis did not yet have his own computer; his mother thought he was too young. So with Butler following behind him, he walked into his father's study and climbed onto his chair. The computer was password protected. Artemis frowned, then reached across the keyboard, and slowly typed Aurum est Potestas. He was in. Artemis was too young- and still too naïve- to know it shouldn’t have been that easy.

It took him a full half-hour to hack into his school’s server. Even a year later, he would have been ashamed of himself. But at the time, he was ridiculously pleased. Then he realized that he had no clue where to go from there. He had never done more than look around in somebody else’s files before.

He decided, to be safe, that he’d delete everything on their server. It ought to do the trick. Butler, standing behind him as always (it was not his job to interefere) hesitantly opened his mouth, "Master Artemis-"

Artemis clicked the button. The screen went black.

"-you’re going to delete all of your father’s files."

Artemis, like any sensible little kid, panicked. He jumped off the chair and tried to flee out of the room, following some vague instinct to hide. Butler scooped Artemis up easily as he tried to pass through the door. Butler set his Principal down on his father’s chair, and then knelt so that they were at eye level. "Master Artemis-"

"I can handle this, Butler." Artemis Sr. Gazed down at his son. Then he turned and pressed a button on the back of his computer. The screen flickered back into life. "You are lucky that I am prepared for hackers. Otherwise I would be very angry." He paused. "Presumably you're worried about your report card; I've already seen it. It’s very impressive." Artemis could hardly believe his ears. His father continued, now impassive. "I will talk with your mother about getting you your own computer. Never use this one again. Do you understand me?" Artemis nodded rapidly. Satisfied, his father left the room.

True to his word, a week later his father gave Artemis his own computer, along with instructions to Butler not to let Artemis "do anything stupid with it". By the age of six, Artemis knew it backwards and forwards, and began to carry out more serious plots.

Six years later, twelve-year-old Artemis was researching his most ambitious scheme yet. On his father’s old computer. On a whim, he logged onto his old preschool’s website, and found that his parents’ account was still there. He quickly deleted it, along with his old report cards.

"Butler?"

"Sir?"

"If anyone asks, this happened six years ago."

Butler did his best to suppress a smile. "Of course, Sir."
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Re: #21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by Target Aquired » Tue 29th Apr 2008

MMK-- wow, that was awesome! I can totally imagine that happening. I've gotta agree that a five-year-old Artemis would have an enormous ego. And Artemis Senior's reaction was perfect. :lol:

...is in quasi-hibernation for a bit...
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" just across the wide-open green space, is it?"
YES, i am a devoted A/M shipper.
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for my fanfiction "f e r m a t a ," go here or here.
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Re: #21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by BlackOpal » Tue 29th Apr 2008

Fine, MMK, make me look bad. :P
Seriously, that was awesome. YOU should post that as a one-shot.
The ending was adorable.
I can see it happening so well. Both the younger and older Artemises would have acted that way.
Target Aquired, yours was hilarious too. All young boys are obsessed with trucks, aren't they? Why should Artemis be much different?
Thanks to darvit and /b/for my signature. :D
And thanks Kagoma, for the awesome birthday present that is the C&H sprite!
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And it's just the beginning...

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HollyShort9
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Re: #21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by HollyShort9 » Tue 29th Apr 2008

Okay now seriously, I look like a two year old with mine now... Hmm... *tries to think of inspiration* Mind overload... *explodes*
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we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.

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Re: #21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by Kagoma_Kage » Fri 2nd May 2008

Great entries guys you all show quite a nack for criminal endeavor. :wink:
But I don't want to keep you waiting so without futher ado, the winners.

First place: MMK
Your entry was fabulous , extremely well written, funny and really believable and I think everyone here agrees that you should submit it to the fanfiction archive.

Second: BlackOpal
Lollipops! Really great idea incorporating that into your story, very clever.

Third:TargetAquired
At first I didn't think Artemis and heavy machinery were really compatible, but you story makes it seem plausible.

Good work everybody, I'll be back soon with another Challenge.
Last edited by Kagoma_Kage on Fri 2nd May 2008, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: typo editing

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Re: #21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by Target Aquired » Fri 2nd May 2008

Great job, guys! MMK, you totally captured Artemis. I would not be surprised if he was reading this right now and turning red.... :lol:

...is in quasi-hibernation for a bit...
*--
" just across the wide-open green space, is it?"
YES, i am a devoted A/M shipper.
graphics by T A R G E T _ A Q U I R E D ~*
for my fanfiction "f e r m a t a ," go here or here.
Image

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Re: #21 First Fowl Feats.

Post by MaeveCrowArtemis1 » Wed 7th May 2008

Awesome stories guys!!!!
Congrats MMK,BlackOpal and Target Aquired!!!! :D
Can't wait for the next challenge!
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