Ok so what are everyone's favourite groan-inducing puns?
I'll kick it off with:
I don't trust stairs, they seem like they're up to something...
Nothing but Puns
- Cabaline
- Fangathering Fever patient
- Posts: 8792
- Joined: Wed 17th Oct 2007
- Gender: Female
- Location: Lake Silencio
- Contact:
Nothing but Puns
I'm always on hand so feel free to message me about anything
I also write articles! I also have a twitter too!
- pokemonex
- Mud-Man
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Sun 18th Oct 2015
- Gender: Male
- Location: Haven
- Contact:
-
- LEP Commander
- Posts: 2535
- Joined: Thu 9th Feb 2012
- Location: Beyond time and space
Re: Nothing but Puns
Oh my 'lanta....
Punography!!
Tuesday: Don't even...
Brb.
Tuesday: You wouldn't dare...
*races off to grab notebook*
Tuesday: I SAID NO
....jk, I keep it by me at all times.
Tuesday: Of bloody course you do. Bogan
Ahem...let's see *adjusts glasses*
Tuesday: Here, let me help you *goes to punch, is tied to chair*
What do you do with a chemist when they die?
You barium.
Tuesday: Pfft. We'll bury you
I didn't like my beard at first....but then it grew on me.
Tuesday: You don't even have a beard!
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
Tuesday: Then for his sake, stop it!
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds!
Tuesday: No thanks, how about we jump forward
Dunno if you lot heard, but the Energizer Bunny was arrested. Charged for battery, apparently.
Tuesday: Someone probably told him bad puns
Two pretzels were walking down the street, they were a-salted.
Tuesday: Coincidence? We think not
Broken pencils are pointless.
Tuesday: Your face is going to be pointless when I get done with you
Punography!!
Tuesday: Don't even...
Brb.
Tuesday: You wouldn't dare...
*races off to grab notebook*
Tuesday: I SAID NO
....jk, I keep it by me at all times.
Tuesday: Of bloody course you do. Bogan
Ahem...let's see *adjusts glasses*
Tuesday: Here, let me help you *goes to punch, is tied to chair*
What do you do with a chemist when they die?
You barium.
Tuesday: Pfft. We'll bury you
I didn't like my beard at first....but then it grew on me.
Tuesday: You don't even have a beard!
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
Tuesday: Then for his sake, stop it!
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds!
Tuesday: No thanks, how about we jump forward
Dunno if you lot heard, but the Energizer Bunny was arrested. Charged for battery, apparently.
Tuesday: Someone probably told him bad puns
Two pretzels were walking down the street, they were a-salted.
Tuesday: Coincidence? We think not
Broken pencils are pointless.
Tuesday: Your face is going to be pointless when I get done with you
- jsreed5
- LEPretrieval Team Member
- Posts: 615
- Joined: Mon 8th Jun 2009
- Gender: Male
- Location: Recalculating
Re: Nothing but Puns
Probably my favorite is this one.
A short psychic broke out of prison one night. The newspaper headlines the next day read "SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE".
A short psychic broke out of prison one night. The newspaper headlines the next day read "SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE".
currently in love
add me on tox: 20C30F247CB429CF625AE47F39D550C55D75F8C78301D601260BB361F8F07160633559C74313
add me on tox: 20C30F247CB429CF625AE47F39D550C55D75F8C78301D601260BB361F8F07160633559C74313
-
- LEP Commander
- Posts: 2535
- Joined: Thu 9th Feb 2012
- Location: Beyond time and space
Re: Nothing but Puns
Oh! Here's one Sully would be proud of: What do you call a kid born -
Colin: Oi!
Alright, alright.
I once did a theatre performance on punography.
It was a play on words.
Colin: Oi!
Alright, alright.
I once did a theatre performance on punography.
It was a play on words.
- Cabaline
- Fangathering Fever patient
- Posts: 8792
- Joined: Wed 17th Oct 2007
- Gender: Female
- Location: Lake Silencio
- Contact:
Re: Nothing but Puns
My favourite pun:
What's ET short for?
He's got little legs!!!
What's ET short for?
He's got little legs!!!
I'm always on hand so feel free to message me about anything
I also write articles! I also have a twitter too!
-
- LEP Commander
- Posts: 2535
- Joined: Thu 9th Feb 2012
- Location: Beyond time and space
Re: Nothing but Puns
Lol.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died last night?
He pasta-way.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died last night?
He pasta-way.
- Percy Jackson(sorry)
- Gnome
- Posts: 57
- Joined: Fri 21st Feb 2020
- Gender: Male
- Location: Haggard, Ireland
Re: Nothing but Puns
Alright. Time to play with the big dogs. (I might have just mixed metaphors) Cation. There may be some slightly dirty jokes.
Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
When life gives you watermelons, you're dyslexic.
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an atheist, and a dyslexic? Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
(I don't know what's going on with all the dyslexic jokes.)
What did the whale say when he accidentally broke a window. "I'm sorry. It wasn't on porpoise!"
You should wear glasses while doing math. It improves division.
Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on.
Did you hear that last oyster joke? I laughed so hard I pulled a mussel.
The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting. Then it let me down.
Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa
A guy was admitted to a hospital after eating an entire horse. His condition is now stable.
*Whew! Now my brains hurts. Hope you enjoyed it!
Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
When life gives you watermelons, you're dyslexic.
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an atheist, and a dyslexic? Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
(I don't know what's going on with all the dyslexic jokes.)
What did the whale say when he accidentally broke a window. "I'm sorry. It wasn't on porpoise!"
You should wear glasses while doing math. It improves division.
Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on.
Did you hear that last oyster joke? I laughed so hard I pulled a mussel.
The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting. Then it let me down.
Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa
A guy was admitted to a hospital after eating an entire horse. His condition is now stable.
*Whew! Now my brains hurts. Hope you enjoyed it!
-
- LEP Commander
- Posts: 2535
- Joined: Thu 9th Feb 2012
- Location: Beyond time and space
Re: Nothing but Puns
You can push the envelope all you want, but at the end of the day, it's still stationary.
Tuesday: You're gonna be stationary...after I murder you
Tuesday: You're gonna be stationary...after I murder you