Nothing but Puns

Want to have a laugh? Know a funny link youd like to share? All in here!
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Cabaline
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Nothing but Puns

Post by Cabaline » Sat 18th Oct 2014

Ok so what are everyone's favourite groan-inducing puns? :awesome:

I'll kick it off with:

I don't trust stairs, they seem like they're up to something... :lol:
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pokemonex
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Re: Nothing but Puns

Post by pokemonex » Sat 24th Oct 2015

good pun
Poke was here

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Re: Nothing but Puns

Post by artymon I\/ » Sat 26th Jan 2019

Oh my 'lanta....

Punography!!
Tuesday: Don't even...
Brb.
Tuesday: You wouldn't dare...
*races off to grab notebook*
Tuesday: I SAID NO
....jk, I keep it by me at all times.
Tuesday: Of bloody course you do. Bogan
Ahem...let's see *adjusts glasses*
Tuesday: Here, let me help you *goes to punch, is tied to chair*
What do you do with a chemist when they die?
You barium.
Tuesday: Pfft. We'll bury you
I didn't like my beard at first....but then it grew on me.
Tuesday: You don't even have a beard!
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
Tuesday: Then for his sake, stop it!
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds!
Tuesday: No thanks, how about we jump forward
Dunno if you lot heard, but the Energizer Bunny was arrested. Charged for battery, apparently.
Tuesday: Someone probably told him bad puns
Two pretzels were walking down the street, they were a-salted.
Tuesday: Coincidence? We think not
Broken pencils are pointless.
Tuesday: Your face is going to be pointless when I get done with you
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jsreed5
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Re: Nothing but Puns

Post by jsreed5 » Fri 6th Mar 2020

Probably my favorite is this one.

A short psychic broke out of prison one night. The newspaper headlines the next day read "SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE".

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Re: Nothing but Puns

Post by artymon I\/ » Mon 9th Mar 2020

Oh! Here's one Sully would be proud of: What do you call a kid born -

Colin: Oi!

Alright, alright.

I once did a theatre performance on punography.

It was a play on words.
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Cabaline
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Re: Nothing but Puns

Post by Cabaline » Mon 9th Mar 2020

My favourite pun:

What's ET short for?
He's got little legs!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Nothing but Puns

Post by artymon I\/ » Mon 9th Mar 2020

Lol.

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died last night?
He pasta-way.
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Percy Jackson(sorry)
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Re: Nothing but Puns

Post by Percy Jackson(sorry) » Mon 16th Mar 2020

Alright. Time to play with the big dogs. (I might have just mixed metaphors) Cation. There may be some slightly dirty jokes.
Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
When life gives you watermelons, you're dyslexic.
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an atheist, and a dyslexic? Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
(I don't know what's going on with all the dyslexic jokes.)
What did the whale say when he accidentally broke a window. "I'm sorry. It wasn't on porpoise!"
You should wear glasses while doing math. It improves division.
Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on.
Did you hear that last oyster joke? I laughed so hard I pulled a mussel.
The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting. Then it let me down.
Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa
A guy was admitted to a hospital after eating an entire horse. His condition is now stable.
*Whew! Now my brains hurts. Hope you enjoyed it!

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Re: Nothing but Puns

Post by artymon I\/ » Tue 24th Mar 2020

You can push the envelope all you want, but at the end of the day, it's still stationary.
Tuesday: You're gonna be stationary...after I murder you
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