Jokes!!!
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- Gnome
- Posts: 35
- Joined: Sun 4th Aug 2013
- Gender: Male
- Location: trinidad
Re: Jokes!!!
two guys were walking their dogs one a labrador and other daschand as they passed a bar one said "watch" as he walked in the 'tender said" you cant have a dog in here" the man said "but he's my seeing eye dog" ok said the 'tender the one that owns the dashand came in and the 'tender told him da same thing and the guy gave same reply the 'tender said yea right a daschand as a seeing eye dog ? " they gave me a DASCHAND?!!!!!??
dont mind me if your seeing this i am totally bored and gots nothing to do so dont mind me androcks taste good1
- Bang Your Drum
- serial addict
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- Contact:
Re: Jokes!!!
^
Beeteedubs no organization would do that, and it's not like they wouldn't notice how small the footsteps (pawsteps?) were!
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Beeteedubs no organization would do that, and it's not like they wouldn't notice how small the footsteps (pawsteps?) were!
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Moses Seixas wrote:give bigotry no sanction
- Falcon!
- Dwarf Miner
- Posts: 63
- Joined: Wed 3rd Oct 2012
- Location: the inside of an antique chest
- Contact:
Re: Jokes!!!
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef (or bipedal).
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call jikes about cows without legs? Lame.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those that can't.
Ehh, I don't know many good ones
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef (or bipedal).
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call jikes about cows without legs? Lame.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those that can't.
Ehh, I don't know many good ones
Member since April 30, 2010!
My old sig by Amber: http://i1217.photobucket.com/albums/dd3 ... Falcon.png
My name is Fal an' I'm resident Cool Cat. Talk to me about my Killjoys obsession or giving me your unwanted things to eat (anything is good covered in chocolate.)
"the story"
My old sig by Amber: http://i1217.photobucket.com/albums/dd3 ... Falcon.png
My name is Fal an' I'm resident Cool Cat. Talk to me about my Killjoys obsession or giving me your unwanted things to eat (anything is good covered in chocolate.)
"the story"
- Skyswallow
- LEPrecon Officer
- Posts: 805
- Joined: Tue 22nd May 2012
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- Location: My castle on a cloud
Re: Jokes!!!
^Me neither In fact, I think all the jokes I know are bad...
There are 10 types of people: those who know binary and those who don't.
There are 10 types of people: those who know binary, those who don't, and those who were expecting this to be in base 3.
There are 10 types of people: those who know binary and those who don't.
There are 10 types of people: those who know binary, those who don't, and those who were expecting this to be in base 3.
Gallifrey - a Doctor Who fanfiction
Hunting the Disappeared - a Fowlock fanfiction
Stars, in your multitudes - scarce to be counted, filling the darkness with order and light! You are the sentinels, silent and sure - keeping watch in the night, keeping watch in the night.
cepele retro petdamìnpasétócó - 'at some point, past!you gets a plant-like thing (that we think is from the future)'
This user will debate you about how important Jean Valjean is (acceptable answer: very), and the distinction between 'antagonist' and 'villain' and how the terms apply to Javert and the Thenardiers.
Hunting the Disappeared - a Fowlock fanfiction
Stars, in your multitudes - scarce to be counted, filling the darkness with order and light! You are the sentinels, silent and sure - keeping watch in the night, keeping watch in the night.
cepele retro petdamìnpasétócó - 'at some point, past!you gets a plant-like thing (that we think is from the future)'
This user will debate you about how important Jean Valjean is (acceptable answer: very), and the distinction between 'antagonist' and 'villain' and how the terms apply to Javert and the Thenardiers.
- shaadia cader
- Gnome
- Posts: 41
- Joined: Sat 26th Nov 2011
- Gender: Female
- Location: The Kingdom of Weird. If you can't find me there, simply check Sri Lanka.
Re: Jokes!!!
To steal from one is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
To steal from many is research.
--Shaadia Cader, Princess of weird, Commander of Boncus, leading General in the Anti- punctuation mark army and Heir to the Throne of Insanity.
I am the (not so) lovely Princess of Eternal Weird, I'm (not so) graceful and (not at all) feminine, and I (never) wear ball gowns. My favorite color is (SO NOT)pink and I (well this one's true at least) love cats.
- Falcon!
- Dwarf Miner
- Posts: 63
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Re: Jokes!!!
*leans in*
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
Because
He drank the coffee
Before it was cool
*scuttles away*
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
Because
He drank the coffee
Before it was cool
*scuttles away*
Member since April 30, 2010!
My old sig by Amber: http://i1217.photobucket.com/albums/dd3 ... Falcon.png
My name is Fal an' I'm resident Cool Cat. Talk to me about my Killjoys obsession or giving me your unwanted things to eat (anything is good covered in chocolate.)
"the story"
My old sig by Amber: http://i1217.photobucket.com/albums/dd3 ... Falcon.png
My name is Fal an' I'm resident Cool Cat. Talk to me about my Killjoys obsession or giving me your unwanted things to eat (anything is good covered in chocolate.)
"the story"
-
- LEP Commander
- Posts: 2535
- Joined: Thu 9th Feb 2012
- Location: Beyond time and space
Re: Jokes!!!
Okay, so here is a cleaned up George Carlin sketch:
Two guys are driving in a car - well, one of them is driving and the other one is just riding - there's a difference.
So they come up to a stoplight, it turns red and the driver flllipt! speeds straight through it.
The passenger is disturbed and asks if the driver saw the light.
"Relax," the driver advises. "My brother drives like this."
Cruising along, they come across yet another stoplight, this one also red. The driver presses his foot down and flllipt! blasts through that light as well.
Gripping the handle bar, the passenger asks the driver why they're driving so erratic, it's not safe.
"Don't worry, my brother drives like this," the driver assures him.
Away they continue on their voyage and - wouldn't you know it - they come to another stoplight.
This one is green as a field of grass glossed with emeralds.
The driver stomps on the brakes, screeching to a halt just short of the light.
Now the passenger is even more confused and asks why they've stopped.
"Hey! My brother could be coming from the other way!" the driver states, checking left and right.
10.23.2023
More Jokes!
What do you call a spider with twenty eyes?
A Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider!
What does a spider eat?
Go check the web.
What do spiders eat in Paris?
French flies!
Why do spiders like living in haunted houses?
Because ghosts can't destroy their webs.
What's the difference between a programmer and a spider?
The spider likes finding bugs in his web.
What text emojis do spiders use when they're happy?
::::D
(Oh that is so cursed)
Did you hear about the spider love triange?
It's a tangled web.
Did you know Spider-Man has a winter jacket made out of Mediterranean flatbread?
It's a pita parka.
Two guys are driving in a car - well, one of them is driving and the other one is just riding - there's a difference.
So they come up to a stoplight, it turns red and the driver flllipt! speeds straight through it.
The passenger is disturbed and asks if the driver saw the light.
"Relax," the driver advises. "My brother drives like this."
Cruising along, they come across yet another stoplight, this one also red. The driver presses his foot down and flllipt! blasts through that light as well.
Gripping the handle bar, the passenger asks the driver why they're driving so erratic, it's not safe.
"Don't worry, my brother drives like this," the driver assures him.
Away they continue on their voyage and - wouldn't you know it - they come to another stoplight.
This one is green as a field of grass glossed with emeralds.
The driver stomps on the brakes, screeching to a halt just short of the light.
Now the passenger is even more confused and asks why they've stopped.
"Hey! My brother could be coming from the other way!" the driver states, checking left and right.
10.23.2023
More Jokes!
What do you call a spider with twenty eyes?
A Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider!
What does a spider eat?
Go check the web.
What do spiders eat in Paris?
French flies!
Why do spiders like living in haunted houses?
Because ghosts can't destroy their webs.
What's the difference between a programmer and a spider?
The spider likes finding bugs in his web.
What text emojis do spiders use when they're happy?
::::D
(Oh that is so cursed)
Did you hear about the spider love triange?
It's a tangled web.
Did you know Spider-Man has a winter jacket made out of Mediterranean flatbread?
It's a pita parka.