#24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

An Artemis Fowl game, open for anyone to join in. Read the stickied thread for details.

#24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby Kagoma_Kage » Sun 8th Jun 2008

Because I'm utterly out of ideas and can't passably wait any longer to start the next Challenge we have Nicole_Artist to thank for this round's idea.
In book 4 it mentions that many of the waiters and tailors in Europe would like to kill him. We could post what we think he said/did to infuriate them so.


That's a good question.
What did he do to upset the general service industry so greatly anyway?
I want to see your take. So type up a scene.
Come on people let's upset some service personnel! :D
User avatar
Kagoma_Kage
LEP Recruit
 
Posts: 241
Joined: Tue 14th Nov 2006

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby HollyShort9 » Mon 9th Jun 2008

Ooh ooh oohh I got a good one. I'll write it up in Narrative POV. (BTW, this takes place before Artemis turned good. And also, Artemis enrages two public businesses in this because it's about how he enraged two businesses in one day. ^_^)


"I'm sorry sir, I thought I tailored it well enou--" the tailor started, but Artemis cut him off.

"You thought. Thinking isn't good enough to get the job done. I was going to pay you extra, but apparently, you didn't do a good enough job, which means I'll pay you less than half the price you would have gotten from a normal person." Artemis retorted, sneering. He dropped five quarters onto the table.

"I'll fix it!" the tailor said quickly.

"If you don't get it done soon, you won't get any money," Artemis replied, snatching the quarters back up. "If I were you, I'd get moving on this."

"Yes, sir!" The tailor started to try to fix the Armani suit, which had loosened considerably since when he had first started tailoring it.

Fifteen minutes later, Artemis tried the suit back on. His arms looked like noodles inside the sleeves; the tailor had loosened it up even more.

"Does this look right to you?" he snapped at the tailor.

"N-no, sir," the tailor stammered.

"I'll be back tomorrow for the suit. If it isn't tighter than it is now, you're not getting payed, but you'll have to pay so I can get a new suit that isn't damaged." Artemis and Butler left the tailor shop and walked across the street to the Japanese sushi shop and ordered some food after they were seated at a table. Their waitress walked up to them a few minutes later and gave them the sushi.

"Isn't sushi cold fish?" Artemis asked.

"Yes," the waitress replied.

"Then why is the sushi deep fried?" Artemis snapped.

"I-I'm sorry, sir, I'll go have them make some raw sushi--" the waitress stammered.

"Here's a dollar. We're going somewhere that serves sushi that isn't deep fried." Artemis drug Butler out of the sushi restaurant, much to the protests of the waitress.




I know that it isn't that long, and probably not that good, but I don't have any better ideas currently.
Image
we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.
User avatar
HollyShort9
Fangathering Fever patient
 
Posts: 8041
Joined: Fri 7th Dec 2007
Location: Broadway
Gender: Female

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby Target Aquired » Wed 11th Jun 2008

I had to think on this one, get into an evil-Artemis frame of mind. Sorry, it's long...
--------

Artemis Fowl did not get nervous.

At least, that's what he told himself over and over, adjusting his tie for the tenth time. It wasn't often that ten-year-olds made jaunts to France to seal eleven-million-dollar deals. But Artemis Fowl wasn't a normal child.

Butler sat next to him, his eyes roving over the small bistro that served as a meeting place. It was small, yes. But it was also open, which meant that Master Artemis was putting himself in the scopes of anyone who happened to be passing by on the cobblestone street. Butler instinctively slid himself three inches to the left, blocking the security camera's view of his Principal. "We can't ever go anywhere quiet, can we?" he quipped.

Artemis opened his mouth to reply, then caught a glance of a perfectly tailored grey suit. "Nevermind, Butler-- our guest is here." The guest was none other than Marco Vincetti, a venture capitalist and notorious Mafiya kingpin. Not that the Mafiya was new to Artemis. Being the son of a crime lord meant that you made friends with other crime lords, not soccer moms.

Marco and his two bodyguards (both with bulging shoulder holsters) picked their way over to the table. Artemis rose and bade his nerves to quiet. "Signor Vincetti. Buon pomeriggio." The Italian grinned, obviously pleased to see that Artemis spoke his own native tongue.

"Anche tu." He extended his hand for Artemis to shake. The Italian Mafiya was nothing if not polite. It was then that something unfathomably terrible happened, something so horrid that it sent shivers down Artemis' spine years later when he thought of it.

There was a small plop. Artemis and Vincetti both looked down and saw something floating in Artemis' cup of Earl Grey tea. It was perfectly circular and slightly shiny. Artemis could feel the heat rise to his cheeks (a blush?!).

It was a button from his suit. The button had fallen off of his hand-tailored Armani suit. Right in front of the most powerful and richest man in Italy.

Artemis' amazing brain recalled the instant that he had dropped the suit off at the tailor's. The man had asked him if he was dropping off something for his parents, and had gotten the trademark scathing reply. Now, Artemis ferverently wished that it hadn't been quite so scathing, as the tailor had obviously taken offense and decided to play a little joke. One which wasn't at all funny.

The rest of the meeting passed in a blur. Later that day, Artemis sat quietly in their rented SUV, Butler driving carefully down the twisting Italian roads. The Irish boy hadn't spoken in nearly two hours. Butler glanced in his rearview mirror and was surprised to see Artemis smiling his vampire smile. "Master Artemis."

"Take the next exit, Butler. Perhaps our tailor friend would like a taste of his own medicine."

It was then that Butler got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Later that night, Artemis was sitting comforably in the back of the SUV, a laptop in his lap (where else?). He studied the screen. The data taps had worked perfectly, of course, and his pirated picture from the security cameras showed him that the store was empty. "All right, Butler. You know what to do."

Butler nodded and slipped out of the car. Within ten minutes he had returned. "Done."

Artemis smiled his vampire smile again. "Very good." Butler bent to unsnap the data taps from the wires, but Artemis stopped him. "Nevermind that, Butler. I'd like to see this plan come to fruition."

And so he did. The tailor went in the next morning, and the morning after that, and the morning after that. It was on the fourth day that he noticed something unusual. Peering at his machine, he noticed for the first time a small capsule filled with darkish liquid right by the base of the needle on his sewing machine. All the others had it, too. The tailor dripped a small bit of the liquid onto the string and watched with horror as the thread disinigrated. Rushing to the racks, he touched them only to have them fall apart in his hands, scraps of fabric and buttons. Incredulous, he sat and stared up at the celing. To his surprise, a small piece of white paper was stuck in a ceiling tile. Getting a ladder, he retrieved the paper and unfolded it, reading.

Don't play cat and mouse with me, it read. Because the mouse can play havoc with the cat's yarn.

-------
That was epic... sorry it was so long!

...is in quasi-hibernation for a bit...
*--
" just across the wide-open green space, is it?"
YES, i am a devoted A/M shipper.
graphics by T A R G E T _ A Q U I R E D ~*
for my fanfiction "f e r m a t a ," go here or here.
Image
User avatar
Target Aquired
LEP Recruit
 
Posts: 236
Joined: Wed 27th Feb 2008
Location: Cardboard Box

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby HollyShort9 » Wed 11th Jun 2008

Your entry made me crack up, Target! You'll definitely win first place!
Image
we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.
User avatar
HollyShort9
Fangathering Fever patient
 
Posts: 8041
Joined: Fri 7th Dec 2007
Location: Broadway
Gender: Female

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby Star Jinin » Mon 16th Jun 2008

So do we post waiters or waitresses or both?
Image
Smut solves EVERYTHING!! :D
User avatar
Star Jinin
LEPretrieval Team Member
 
Posts: 542
Joined: Fri 25th Jan 2008
Location: Haven City

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby MaeveCrowArtemis1 » Mon 16th Jun 2008

What do you mean?!

You can write a story about what Artemis did to upset some tailor,waiter/waitress,bank clerk,hotel employee or some other "unlucky" person that was forced to be in Artemis's surrounding!
Image Image
Blue is the colour,football is the game
we are all together and winning is our aim
so cheer us on through the sun and rain
cause Chelsea,Chelsea is our name
User avatar
MaeveCrowArtemis1
Council Member
 
Posts: 3274
Joined: Sun 19th Nov 2006
Location: Serbia

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby Target Aquired » Tue 17th Jun 2008

Yes, someone, PLEASE post an entry! This is going to be awufully boring if it's just me and HS9... :?

...is in quasi-hibernation for a bit...
*--
" just across the wide-open green space, is it?"
YES, i am a devoted A/M shipper.
graphics by T A R G E T _ A Q U I R E D ~*
for my fanfiction "f e r m a t a ," go here or here.
Image
User avatar
Target Aquired
LEP Recruit
 
Posts: 236
Joined: Wed 27th Feb 2008
Location: Cardboard Box

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby jadeprincess » Tue 17th Jun 2008

Ok, here we go..
***************************************************************************************************
It was Artemis Fowl ll's first time traveling to Rome. Sadly, a nine year old criminal mastermind did not have the privilege of traveling wherever he wanted unaccompanied. He had come with his father, who was doing business there. Artemis' father had left him at their hotel at about 5:00 am, which suited Artemis just fine. As he had nothing else to do, he went down to the lobby to use the computers and keep up with the changes in the stock market, and maybe make some changes of his own. Just like his father.

Everyone watched Artemis curiously as he strolled through the lobby, followed closely by Butler. His mouth stretched slowly into his vampire smile, and the person nearest to him took an unconscious step backwards. He stepped casually up to the front desk and said, vampire smile still in place, "Excuse me. I would like to use one of your computers, though they will undoubtedly be far below my standards. Do not allow anybody to enter while I am working." The secretary almost laughed out loud, but the young boy scared him. With his sophisticated vocabulary and personality, the secretary almost forgot that the boy must have been about nine, as he gave of the aura of a very powerful adult. " Ummm... but sir, the whole computer lab is closed due to-" Artemis cut him off. " I did not ask your permission. I would advise you to stop protesting and let me in, before I lose my patience," which was exactly what was happening. The secretary shut his mouth immediately, as he had recieved a very threatening look from both Artemis and Butler, which almost sent him running.

In less than a minute they were in the computer lab, door locked behind them, waiting impatiently for the computer to start up. Artemis tapped his fingers, extremely annoyed. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Butler spoke. " Master Artemis, it seems we have company."
In the same instant, the door flew open and in stomped the manager. Artemis spoke calmly." Aah, you must be the manager. I see your secretary has been talking about me." The manager was shaking in his boots, but he refused to show it.
" You cannot be in here. We are allowing no one and you are not an exception. Leave immediately."
" Well," Artemis replied, " Is that any way to talk to a guest? I wouldn't think so. You have caused me nothing but trouble here, when all I wanted was simply to use one of these computers. I see how you became manager," he said sarcastically. With that, Artemis leaned down, fingers flying over the keyboard of the newly started computer, and next thing you know, the whole computer system crashed around them, alarms sounding. Without another word, or a look back at the speechless manager, Artemis walked out of the hotel, not to come back again.
Later in the week, the hotel discovered half of their funds missing, and so had no way to repare the damage done by one exceptional little boy.
***************************************************************************************************
:D
Hola, ma petit kumquat!- Me
Holly/Trouble
yayayayayayay!
:D
User avatar
jadeprincess
Troll
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Fri 26th Oct 2007
Location: Parallel Universe.

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby HollyShort9 » Thu 19th Jun 2008

AHAHAHA.

Laughed out loud at that. I seriously think you and Target Aquired are going to be very close to both getting 1st place.
Image
we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.
User avatar
HollyShort9
Fangathering Fever patient
 
Posts: 8041
Joined: Fri 7th Dec 2007
Location: Broadway
Gender: Female

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby Star Jinin » Sun 22nd Jun 2008

So what's the deadline? I've got a great idea, but I need to think about it...
Image
Smut solves EVERYTHING!! :D
User avatar
Star Jinin
LEPretrieval Team Member
 
Posts: 542
Joined: Fri 25th Jan 2008
Location: Haven City

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby Target Aquired » Sun 22nd Jun 2008

Star Jinin wrote:So what's the deadline? I've got a great idea, but I need to think about it...


It's been open past the normal cutoff time, so I'm assuming that the deadline is whenever Kagoma feels like (ie, gets more entries). By the way, JadePrincess-- your entry made me laugh. Nice! :lol:

...is in quasi-hibernation for a bit...
*--
" just across the wide-open green space, is it?"
YES, i am a devoted A/M shipper.
graphics by T A R G E T _ A Q U I R E D ~*
for my fanfiction "f e r m a t a ," go here or here.
Image
User avatar
Target Aquired
LEP Recruit
 
Posts: 236
Joined: Wed 27th Feb 2008
Location: Cardboard Box

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby jadeprincess » Mon 23rd Jun 2008

Aww, thanks Holly, thanks Target!!! Your stories were both hilarious as well. It is gonna be really hard for Kagoma to choose! :D Good luck to all of us.
Hola, ma petit kumquat!- Me
Holly/Trouble
yayayayayayay!
:D
User avatar
jadeprincess
Troll
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Fri 26th Oct 2007
Location: Parallel Universe.

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby HollyShort9 » Mon 23rd Jun 2008

@Target and Jade: Her name's KagomE, not Kagoma, just pointing out.

@Jade: I agree, it will be really hard for Kagome to choose. Mine kind of stinks compared to yours, but I bet you two will be super close to tying in first place!
Image
we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.
User avatar
HollyShort9
Fangathering Fever patient
 
Posts: 8041
Joined: Fri 7th Dec 2007
Location: Broadway
Gender: Female

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby Kagoma_Kage » Tue 24th Jun 2008


I was just waiting another week to score so we could get more entries, I'm glad to say
I wasn't disappointed. Anyway, here are the results.

Okay, this was a tough one, Target and Jade both really stepped it up this time,

First place:Target: You entry was wonderfully written and the touches like the Italian translation, and Marco Vincetti back story, took it over the top and made it read like an actual Fowl excerpt. But besides all that I have to mention the quiet nod to Yoko Ono in the end of your entry . I personally wish Colfer would reference more people like that.

Second: Jade: Your story was very believable, and well suited to a nine year old Artemis-tantrum, and you did a nice job of expressing hotel staff's general sense of unease. Plus I'm glad to see a non-regular submitting such a great entry. This was very close to stealing the win. Keep up the good work.

Third HollyShort9: Your P.O.V. entries are definitely unique,but I can't help but think, that in each of the cases you mention, the staff deserved it. :)




P.S. If you take a quick glance up at my screenname, it is spelled KagomA. Not like the Inuyasha character. It's a purposeful change, with a spelling rooted in my childhood's failing attempts at recalling Japanese names. It's still pronounced it the same, but Kagoma Kage is also my event alias and the typo is the only thing that keeps my work from being confused with the other ten thousand Kagomes in attendance.
User avatar
Kagoma_Kage
LEP Recruit
 
Posts: 241
Joined: Tue 14th Nov 2006

Re: #24: Whatever They're Paying Me (It isn't enough.)

Postby HollyShort9 » Tue 24th Jun 2008

^Ah!!! Sorry, I'm getting confused... I have to give up like 5 hours of my usual sleep because six family members are flooded out of their houses and I have to help them at their beck and call etc. etc. etc. because my brother's too lazy to and my parents are at work half of the time, so.... Sorry 'bout that >.<

YAY!! THIRD PLACE! WOOT!
Image
we're all stories in the end. just make it a good one, eh? because it was, you know. it was the best.
User avatar
HollyShort9
Fangathering Fever patient
 
Posts: 8041
Joined: Fri 7th Dec 2007
Location: Broadway
Gender: Female

Next

Return to Artemis Fowl Challenge

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: rakukaitsuburl and 1 guest

cron