Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

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Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby artymon » Tue 8th Dec 2009

Like Ways To Befuddle Your Professors, Fan Gathering Enterprises now presents the How Not To in dealings with the Fuzz.

Here are just a few:

•Can't we all get along? Well then go ahead and beat me up; I need the money to start my own rap label!

•Why can't we discuss this over a box of donuts?

•I pay your salary and for the freeway, so I'll speed if I want to, dammit!

•I wasn't going as fast as that guy in front. Yeah, you can't see him anymore because he's so far ahead.

•What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You don't think I drive that fast and talk this slow when I'm sober, do you? God what has become of intelligent lawmen!

•Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

•Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

•Gee, officer, your eyes are glazed, you been eating donuts?

You know ze drill, add 'em on!

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Julissa says: I moved it to Fun Stuff because it fits better here.
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Re: What Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby Alanna » Tue 8th Dec 2009

*Hey, aren't you that officer that got beaten up on Cops?

*Officer, I thought you liked donuts!

*Can't we got to the pub/donut shop and talk this over?

*(to female officer) Go ahead and cuff me.
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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby artymon » Wed 9th Dec 2009

Oh ho ho ho! Now that you've opened THAT box, dear Alanna...

•I'll show you my license if you show me your boobs.
Julissa here. *crosses arms* That kind of thing goes under a spoiler tag, Nathan.
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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby dixieduffy » Wed 9th Dec 2009

easy
~let me go ill give you a box of donuts
~`as he/she walks away` dose this mean i can keep my crack?
all at the moment :razz:
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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby Father1005 » Wed 9th Dec 2009

-I have the right to remain silent, and all the random cr*p you police officers say, right?

-You can't keep me quiet, I have the right to free speech, da**it!

-Well, if I was speeding, how is it you managed to keep up with me long enough to stop, eh?

-(after one above) You're the (randomswearwordhere) speeder, (insult cop her, preferablly a swearing insult)

-No, I don't gots no al-co-hol. I just smell like it because... one of my friends poured some beer on me.

-(worstswearwordyoucanthinkof) You.

-Me and the rest of the cops have an agreement, I'm aloud to have drugs in the car at all times, rookie.

That's all for now.
There's no telling who you will be
When you RP


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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby cookieninja » Wed 9th Dec 2009

- Apparently you don't know of the deal...
- If I speed of will you shoot me. I want to know what it feels like!
Last edited by cookieninja on Wed 9th Dec 2009, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby Battery » Wed 9th Dec 2009

- *sigh* Alright, let's get this over with; are you here for the speeding, the pot, or the body in my trunk?
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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby Miasaki-chan » Thu 10th Dec 2009

-Do I have any fruits or vegetables? I don't know. Is cocaine a fruit or vegetable?

-A hundred dollar fine? Well, I think George Washington can change your mind

-Can we speed this up? I've got laser eye surgery in an hour, and I have to get home for my date in and hour and 2 minutes.
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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby MuriUmbrielCordeliaN » Sat 12th Dec 2009

All right, I totally didn't think of this one, I found it on an avatar somewhere:

-Can you hold my beer while I get out my license?
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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby Miasaki-chan » Sun 13th Dec 2009

i think i saw that avvie!!
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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby cookieninja » Wed 23rd Dec 2009

Mmmmkay I searched online and found these...

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

What? You need a license to drive?

I pay your salary!

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

What's wrong, Ossifer? I swear to drunk I'm not God! And really, there is no blood in my alcohol.

You don't happen to have any beer in your car?

I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby Ally Kat » Sun 27th Dec 2009

*No, no, I'm the sober one in the car. *points to incredibly sober friends*

*If I'm drunk your God.

*I tried to the go speed limit, but it was too d*mn slow!

*I was speeding? I assumed you pulled me over because of the half dead cop in the back seat.
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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby IwishIwasafaerie » Mon 28th Dec 2009

i can't believe no ones said this one yet:
Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!
(the classic)
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Re: What Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby Alanna » Mon 28th Dec 2009

- The aliens made me!
- Its spelt with an 'e'... (or point out another spelling mistake)
- You know, I don't wanna be silent. Or believe in your god.
- Peace man, you're causing bad vibes.
- Hey brother, I never knew they let amputees in!
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Re: Wht Not To Say To A Police Officer.

Postby artymon » Mon 28th Dec 2009

Do you want my license or car's owner's license?
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